Dwindling Illusion
by Lachenna
Summary: A night of drinking leads to Kanda Yuu waking up in bed with Allen Walker of all people. What happens next will change their lives forever. Semi-AU. Yullen. Mpreg.
1. Chapter 1

A/N #1: This story was originally supposed to be a 3k word one-shot for Christmas/Allen's Birthday. Instead, it's 11 chapters and an epilogue, totaling about 28k words. It clearly got away from me.

A/N #2: Yes, you read the description right. Unlike my other stories, this story is not AllenxKanda, but rather just straight Yullen.

A/N #3: Like with my other semi-AU stories, this takes place in a future where the last cannon events are Allen running away from the Order and Kanda going after him. Allen is now eighteen and back at the Order, Cross and Lavi are both alive, and Neah is gone.

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

I woke up in a strange bed in a strange room. My head hurt something fierce, and the light shining through the window was far too bright. In my disoriented state, it took a moment to recognize the decor of the strange room: it was my room at the inn. Only, I couldn't remember coming back last night, and trying to think about it just made my head hurt more.

Deciding I'd had enough of the light burning my eyes, I tried to get up to close the curtains. But I couldn't move. There was something heavy on top of me. My half asleep attempt to get out from underneath the weight failed, but that's when I noticed three things.

The first was that I was naked. Completely naked. And that was weird because I never slept in the nude. As an exorcist, it was always possible that I would be awoken in the middle of the night, and sleeping without something on was just asking for trouble.

The second was that my hair wasn't up. It was strewn about the bed, though the long strands were mostly awkwardly and painfully pinned between me and the mattress. And that was why I always slept with it tied back in some fashion: I hated sleeping on my hair; it was the one downside to keeping it long.

The third thing was that the weight on top of me was a person. I was in bed with someone else. And judging by the feeling of their bare skin against mine, they were just as naked as I was.

It wasn't hard to put things together after that. The headache, aversion to light, lack of memory, and overall crappy feeling were from a hangover. I had gotten drunk last night. But not just drunk, it was a have-sex-with-a-stranger-and-then-black-out type of drunk. And that was new. I'd never, ever, even been close to that drunk before. Hell, before last night, I was a virgin. Sex just wasn't something I thought about.

The body on top of me moved slightly, and I tried to force myself to focus. Whoever it was I had slept with was still asleep, and I prayed that it was some random girl who I'd be able to kick out without too much trouble.

I wouldn't get that wish.

My attempt to wake the body above me was rewarded with a change in position that gave me a face full of hair. Between the too bright light and the hangover, it took a second to realize that the hair in my face was short and white.

Disbelief hit me hard, and I was sober in an instant. There was just no way I had been _that_ drunk. There was not enough alcohol in the world to get me drunk enough to sleep with Allen Walker.

But as I threw off the blankets and yanked myself out from under my bed partner, I could only conclude that that was exactly what had happened. I wanted to run away, but my body wouldn't listen and I ended up just standing there staring at the young man I had apparently fucked the night before.

The Moyashi shivered slightly at the loss of warmth now that he was alone on the bed, but he didn't wake. Hoping my conclusions were wrong, I let my eyes rove down from his scarred face, only to be met with the evidence of what had happened. The boy was just as naked as I was, his dick bigger than I expected it to be, and while that didn't prove anything, the dried semen on his midsection certainly did.

I really had had sex with Allen Walker. And it wasn't that he was a fellow male that had me freaked out, I couldn't care less about that fact; despite being a branch of the Catholic Church, the Black Order was actually a very safe place for homosexuals. No, it was the fact that it was _him_ that was bothering me. That boy got under my skin like no one else could, and it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that I hated him to some degree.

Not knowing what to do next, I sat down roughly on the edge of the bed. I had my back to the Moyashi, but I could tell from the way he shifted that I had finally succeeded in waking him. He let out a deep groan before he groggily spoke. "Huh? Kanda? What are you doing on my bed?"

My only answer was to turn my head and stare at him. He blinked a few times before he spoke again. "And _why_ in the _**hell**_ are you _naked_?!"

I watched him push himself up onto his elbows, the motion making him break our tense stare to look down at his body. He practically shrieked when he spoke again. "Why am _I_ naked?!"

The Moyashi hurriedly moved to sit up, reaching for a pillow to cover himself with, but instead he collapsed back to the mattress with a pained groan. His right hand began to rub his temples while his black Innocence hand began rubbing the small of his back.

 _Well, that answers the question of which of us was on the bottom..._

Pushing the thought aside, as it was accompanied by a couple flashes of memories of the sex; I finally found my voice, though my tongue felt like it was covered in fur. "Apparently we got drunk and slept together last night."

The way he froze at my words might have made me laugh, but this whole situation was the polar opposite of funny. He groaned and buried his face in his hands. "Alright, fine, you may as well just kill me now and get it over with. I know you want to, and if you don't do it, then Master Cross will. And I'd rather be killed for sleeping with you than for getting drunk."

The babbling brought my headache back. That boy talked way too much. And what he was suggesting was strange. There were a lot of things I had wanted to kill him over in the past three years, but this wasn't one of them. "Che. It was just sex, Moyashi. It's no big deal. And even if it was, we were drunk. It's not like either of us were coherent enough to actually consent to anything."

The Moyashi's silver eyes were huge as he blinked at me. It took him a second to organize his thoughts. "But I took your virginity; shouldn't you be pissed at me?"

With that one question, I could remember the bar: we were there so that the Moyashi could fill his bottomless pit of a stomach and Lavi could hit on girls. Some guy mistook me for a woman and bought me a very girly drink. It pissed me off. Especially when Lavi suggested that I just relax and enjoy the free alcohol. I retorted that I'd drink it if he and the Moyashi each did a shot of tequila, not expecting Allen's desire to see me drink the pink thing to outweigh his hatred of alcohol. But they did the shots, so I downed the fruity cocktail in one swig. That's when Lavi suggested playing a game called "Never Have I Ever". The night went downhill from there, as the "game" quickly devolved into Allen and I taking potshots at each other. Lavi left at some point, and the last thing I could recall was the revelation that the Moyashi and I were both virgins.

"So? It's not like I was saving myself for someone special. And I took yours as well. You're not pissed at me for that, right?" He made a face at me, but didn't argue, so I kept talking, sharing my thoughts as they came to me. "Besides, I bet you remember even less of last night than I do. And if we don't actually remember having sex, then we can just pretend it never happened."

The Moyashi's gaze turned thoughtful as he sat up and covered his lap with a pillow. "I guess that's true. But can you actually do that? Can you actually pretend that we never slept together?"

"Che. Why not? It's not like this changed how I feel about you. You're still obnoxious, Moyashi."

He hissed at me. "My name's Allen, Bakanda."

I stood up and began searching for my clothes. "That just proves my point, Moyashi. If you still hate that I won't use your real name then nothing between us has changed."

The Moyashi stared at me for a moment before he collapsed backwards and turned his stare on the ceiling. "Can you hurry up and be sober? This hungover version of you that's talkative and smart is really creeping me out."

I snorted and threw a shirt that was clearly too small to be mine at him. "Look at the bright side, at least the Baka Usagi is never going to be able to tease you for being a virgin. And if he asks for details, you can honestly say that you were drunk and don't remember."

As I bent to pick up the shirt that actually was mine, I was beaned with a pillow. I looked up to see Allen scowling at me as he buttoned his shirt. "If I agree to forget this whole thing, will you _finally_ stop talking?"

I returned his scowl and pulled on my shirt. "Che. I only want you to agree to it if you want to. If I'm wrong and you actually do want things between us to change, then say so. I don't want to find out months from now that you've worked yourself into a depression pining over me."

I was beaned with the other pillow. Allen was simultaneously laughing and glaring at me. "As if I would ever pine over you, Bakanda. You're a self-centered bastard."

.x.x.

I didn't know what to make of the plan to forget that Kanda and I had slept together. It seemed so impossible. That painful ache in my lower back returned several times over the next few days, especially whenever I moved too sharply. And the pain forcibly reminded me that Kanda's dick had been inside my body in the most intimate of ways. That thought always made me want to scream.

I couldn't be mad at him though. As much as I disliked the guy, I knew he was telling the truth about being as drunk as I was. Despite the composed way he handled the morning after, I could tell from the uncharacteristic behavior that he was freaked out and confused. It just wasn't possible that he was lying to cover up taking advantage of me, which is what everyone who heard what happened would suggest. That night was a disaster for both of us, not just me.

In fact, it might even have been worse for him. I had at least known that I was gay prior to our night together. Discovering his sexual orientation by waking up in bed with a man could not have been easy on Kanda.

When the pain in my ass finally faded for good, I found myself realizing that everything Kanda had said that morning was true. The sex really was no big deal if we didn't remember it, and even though he took my virginity, I had no reason to hate him for it. Plus, he did exactly what he said he was going to, and treated me exactly the same as he used to. I knew he wasn't going to be nicer, but I had expected him to be meaner, and he didn't do that.

So I decided to do the same and move on.

But almost as soon as I reached that decision, I got hit with a stomach bug. It helped with the forgetting, I was too busy throwing up and worrying about throwing up to think about Kanda. But in every other way, being sick sucked. Especially once Komui decided that I had been sick for too long.

The medical exam he put me through was nerve wracking. Aside from the vomiting, I felt fine. I had thought that he was overreacting, but the seriousness of his behavior made me think that something might actually be wrong with me. Waiting for the results of the tests was awful, but what happened afterward was even worse.

I was pregnant.

Komui explained that it was possible because of my parasitic Innocence; and his patient descriptions of what was going to happen to my body helped me adjust to the idea that I was going to have a baby.

Inside my head was chaos, the idea of being pregnant was beyond weird, and I had no clue what to do next. But when Komui suggested that I have an abortion, everything became crystal clear in a heartbeat.

I had no clue whether or not I could raise the baby by myself, or even if I wanted to. But there was one thing I did know without a doubt: I couldn't kill it. I was going to have to carry the baby to term. It wasn't its fault that I had accidentally conceived it; it was an innocent life, and it deserved to live. She may not have kept me, but my mother had at least brought me into the world; my child deserved the same.

The next week was annoying. Komui constantly questioned my decision to not abort the baby. He even went so far as to go behind my back and tell Master Cross that I was pregnant.

My former teacher reacted how I expected him to: there was the awful teasing for letting a man take me like I was a woman, then came the questioning of my resolve to give birth to my baby. It was what happened after that that surprised me. While Cross remained very vocal in his disagreement with my decision, he agreed that it was my choice and they couldn't force me to go through with an abortion.

He came up with a plan to get me away from headquarters, and before I knew what was happening, I was once again traveling with him. Only this time around he was respectful and considerate of my needs, especially when it came to my pregnancy. He even used his magic to disguise me as a woman, so that I wouldn't attract any unwanted attention.

The spell he put on me took some getting used to. Seeing a woman when I looked in the mirror was annoying, as was the sound of my voice; I missed my Adam's apple. And it was incredibly weird that I was still male downstairs, it almost would have been better if he had just turned me into a woman completely. Even answering to the name 'Ellen' was annoying. But the long auburn hair that spilled into my face every time I moved my head was by far the worst part.

I completely forgot about Kanda until about two weeks after I left headquarters, when I was asked about the father of my baby for the first time. It was a surreal moment as I realized that I had gotten pregnant the night I had drunkenly slept with a man I sort of hated. _Kanda_ was the father of the baby that was growing inside me.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Wow! Nine reviews in one week! You guys are awesome! Here's chapter two, time for Kanda to find out that Allen's pregnant...

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The "forget I ever had sex with the Moyashi" plan went perfectly. For the first month. It was easy to pretend I still hated the brat, because I _did_ still hate the brat. And everything was normal.

But at the end of that first month, the Moyashi came down with a stomach bug. And I found myself worrying about him. I'd pass him in the hall and wonder if he was on his way to the bathroom to throw up or if he was on his way back to his room. And I'd worry about what would happen if he never made it to his destination. It was aggravating. It wasn't like me to think about another person like that, especially when that person was the Moyashi.

It wasn't hard to pinpoint the reason for my change in attitude. I was feeling the beginnings of care towards the Moyashi because I had slept with him. And that thought made me want to scream.

I did the only thing I could do: I went down to Komui's office and demanded to be sent on a mission. I needed to get away from headquarters and clear my head. It wasn't a strange thing for me to demand, so it was quickly arranged, and I was on a train heading somewhere away from the Moyashi that very night.

The two week long mission served its purpose nicely. The finders and villagers annoyed the shit out of me, and I forgot all about the Moyashi, his stomach bug, and the fact that we had slept together.

And when I returned to headquarters, Allen was gone. He'd recovered from his illness and been sent to accompany General Cross on his latest mission. It was good news for me and my renewed determination to continue to hate him: out of sight, out of mind.

And I was fine for another month.

That's when the dreams started. At first it was just the occasional wet dream that I couldn't recall once I was awake. I knew I was too old to be having wet dreams, but that was clearly the Moyashi's fault. Sleeping with him had awakened a sexual need that I hadn't experienced before. Now that I was sexually active, my body wanted more. It was frustrating, but it wouldn't have been a big deal except that the fact that I couldn't remember the dreams reminded me of the other thing I couldn't remember: the night I'd had sex with Allen.

After a couple weeks, the dreams began to change. I'd wake up covered in my release, and I'd remember snippets of having sex with a man. And despite having relieved myself while I slept, I found myself feeling horny as I recalled the dreams. As the weeks passed, the dreams got clearer, and the worst part was that I found my thoughts drifting to that night with Allen at random times during the day.

It was around the time that Allen had been gone for three months that I realized that I was remembering our night together in my dreams.

And with my memory of that night now intact, I had a new problem. I recalled every kiss, every caress, every thrust, and I found myself wanting more. I wanted to kiss Allen's thin coral lips so hard that they bruised. I wanted to feel his soft white hair between my fingers and press my body against his skinny form. I wanted to hear him moan and cry out as I stretched his opening.

I wanted to have sex with the Moyashi again.

Fortunately, I had the self-control necessary to keep the dirty thoughts at bay when I was around other people and in public places, but that created a new set of problems. Even while meditating, I couldn't wipe him from my thoughts completely, and I began to miss the Moyashi. It was weird not seeing him in the cafeteria, smiling that stupid fake smile and scarfing down a mountain of food. Training became frustrating; it was better back when he was around, he was the only one who had ever been able to keep up with me. I even missed hearing him call me an idiot. And I'd wonder if he was enjoying his mission with Cross, or if the redheaded general was making his life hell.

The thoughts and dreams continued to grow stronger, until I woke up one morning and finally realized what was really going on: I had fallen in love with Allen Walker. And it wasn't a recent development either. I had been falling for the brat from the very beginning.

...

Fuck.

.x.x.

After two months of arguing with myself over my love for my Moyashi, an argument I had lost the second I had started using 'my' instead of 'the', and stewing over his continued absence, I found something I shouldn't have.

I was waiting alone in Komui's office for a mission briefing when a file on the desk caught my eye. I wasn't a nosy person, but thinking that I had seen Allen's name, I had to get a closer look. It was a fairly thick folder, but the top page was all I needed to see: it was a letter from Cross to Komui dated just a week earlier. It wasn't a long letter, only stating that Allen was well and that they were going to be staying in Nice for a few weeks.

I stared at the page in front of me for a moment then quickly moved to the couch to wait. My Moyashi was in Nice. There was only one thought going through my mind at that: _how can I get there?_

That answer ended up being given to me by Komui. My mission was in Milan. It was only a few hours by train from there to Nice. It would be so easy to just go there instead of going back to headquarters once my mission was done...

.x.x.

It wasn't until I was actually on the train to Nice that I realized how stupid this whole thing was. It wasn't like me to be spontaneous like that. Did I even want to tell my Moyashi that I had fallen for him? Would he even want to see me? Maybe he'd gone off with Cross because he had wanted to leave; maybe he'd wanted to get away from me.

But as I got off the train in Nice, I knew only one thing: I had to see my Moyashi before I went crazy.

It wasn't hard to find the house where they were staying; it seemed like all the women in town knew where to find Cross. I hesitated on the doorstep, but then I decided that the only thing stupider than coming all this way was coming all this way and not knocking.

The door was opened by a young brunette woman. An incredibly _pregnant_ brunette woman. She literally looked like she was going to pop at any minute. However, there was something about her that seemed familiar. Something that I just couldn't place. Like a word on the tip of my tongue that I just couldn't come up with.

The mystery woman seemed very startled by my presence. "Kanda?! What are _you_ doing here?"

I blinked at the woman. "Do I know you?"

She looked confused for a moment before her silver eyes suddenly lit up. It was an eerily familiar mannerism, but I couldn't place it. "Oh, right! You don't recognize me like this." She pulled the door open the rest of the way. "Hurry up and come in. I'll explain it in a minute."

I followed her into the living room as she began shouting. Like with her mannerisms and appearance, I recognized her tone, but couldn't place it. Her words distracted me from that though. "Yo, Master Cross! I need you to come down here and undo that spell you put on me!"

The woman smirked at me as she settled in a chair and pulled a blanket around her pregnant form. It was all so very familiar, like I knew her, yet I knew that I had never seen that woman before in my life. Before I could think of any words to say, there were footsteps behind me.

"What exactly do you want, idiot? I'm bus-" Cross' jaw snapped shut when he saw me. He scowled angrily at me for a moment before he turned his gaze on the woman. "Is he...?"

She snorted at the unfinished question. "Does it matter?"

"So that's a yes."

Cross' conclusion made her hiss, a reaction that just like everything else about her was way too familiar. "Either way, I need to talk to him and I can't do it like this. Can you remove your spell?"

"You're so bossy as a woman, brat." Cross strode quickly over to her and placed a finger on her forehead. He muttered some foreign words and the young woman began to change.

As I watched, her hair lightened and shortened, going from a chest length auburn to a shoulder length white. Her facial structure became more masculine and a bright red scar appeared on the left side of her face. By the time Cross had finished his spell, the young woman had become a young man. But not just any young man, he was my Moyashi.

"Moyashi?! What the hell?"

Allen laughed at my reaction, but otherwise ignored me. He smiled at Cross. "Thanks. You can go now."

The redhead looked like he wanted to argue, but Allen clearly had some sort of control over him, and so he left without another word.

The Moyashi smiled and gestured for me to take a seat on the couch. I narrowed my eyes at him as I did so, but he just brushed it off. "We needed to disguise my appearance, so Cross put a spell on me that made me look like a woman."

I had a lot of questions, but in the end, I could only think of one word to say. "Why?"

He smirked at me. "Now, now, Bakanda. That's not how it works. I already answered a question of yours. You have to answer one of mine before you can ask another."

That tone made me want to smack him, but the smile he gave afterwards made me want to jump him. If I had hoped that actually seeing him would change my feelings for him, then that hope would have been crushed. One minute with the Moyashi had confirmed everything that I'd been feeling over the last several months. As irritating as he was, I was in love with the brat.

"Seriously though, it's too complicated to explain right now. So why don't you tell me why you're here, Kanda?" It didn't escape my notice that his tone was nicer than it normally was when he was speaking to me.

"I came looking for you." That was the easy part.

But my answer made Allen stiffen, and I wondered what I'd said to upset him. "Did the Order send you?"

Oh, _that's_ what was wrong. "Che. They think I'm still in Milan on my mission."

The Moyashi relaxed, but I could tell he was still tense. It almost looked like he was in pain. "And how did you know I'd be here?"

"I saw a letter on Komui's desk that said you and Cross were here." With each question he asked, I grew more afraid to tell him my feelings and more certain that he wouldn't let me out of saying them. I needed to change the subject. "Ok, now it's my turn to ask some questions. I get that you can't tell me why you've been disguising yourself, but why a pregnant woman? Wouldn't it have been easier to-?"

The words died in my throat as I watched the Moyashi pull the blanket off of his lap. It wasn't the thick, bunched up fabric that was making his middle look big. His belly was just as large as his female disguise's had been. The bulky brown sweater he was wearing to stave off the winter cold only made his bulging stomach more obvious. I watched in stunned silence as he heaved himself out of his chair, and the difficulty the task gave him made it clear that the belly was real. Allen was pregnant.

 _How is that possible? The Moyashi is male. How can_ he _be pregnant?_ Confusion wasn't my only problem though. The way my body reacted to seeing him like that... there was no denying that I found Allen _attractive_ in that pregnant state.

Allen ignored me and shuffled towards the door. He paused to grimace, grabbing the doorframe for support; his black left hand pressing against his belly like the action would ease the pain. When it passed, he started shouting again, though that earlier confident tone was marred by how out of breath he was. "Oi, Cross! It's time! I'm in labor!"

If Allen's revelation didn't shock me, then Cross' calloused retort would have. "So? You know what to do. Get your little friend to help if you need it. It's _his_ problem. Don't bother me again until your water breaks."

The Moyashi gripped the doorframe tighter and muttered a couple curses under his breath. Apparently Allen wasn't just pregnant, he was in labor. He was going to be giving birth soon. My patience snapped, and I got up and walked over to him, grabbing his shoulder and forcing him to turn and look at me. "Moyashi, what the _hell_ is going on? And how is this 'my problem'?"

His silver eyes filled with an emotion I couldn't read before he dropped his gaze. The words he spoke next sent a chill down my spine. "... It's your baby..."

Before I could really process what he had said, he began babbling. "One stupid night of drunken sex, that I don't even remember, and now my entire life has been turned upside-"

The babbling cut off with a long, deep groan, and he clutched the sides of his belly. When the pain of the contraction passed, Allen stood tall and returned my stare, having snapped out of his self-pity. He sighed heavily at whatever stunned expression was on my face. "Come with me. I'll explain once we're in the other room."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews. I love hearing that you guys are enjoying this story. On to chapter three!

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I followed the Moyashi on autopilot, and he led the way with a slow shuffling walk that gave away just how heavily pregnant he was. The room he took me to was a very sparsely furnished bedroom, a small bed covered in pillows and a couple wooden chairs were the only items in the room. Allen pushed me into the chair closest to the bed, and then he disappeared into the closet.

When he returned a minute later, his sweater and pants had been replaced with a short light blue dress and knee high socks. He sat down on the edge of the bed and groaned through another contraction before he finally explained. "Male parasite-types are able to get pregnant. Obviously neither of us knew that, so when you and I had sex that night, we did it unprotected, and you knocked me up. When we found out I was pregnant, Cross and Komui tried to convince me to abort the baby, but I could never do that, so Cross came and took me away from the Order. He put that spell on me to disguise that I'm male so that I could travel around freely and wouldn't have to hide all the time."

The story paused as another contraction hit him, but he picked right back up once it passed. "We've been pretending that I'm his niece; he took me in when my parents kicked me out for getting pregnant."

He might have fallen silent then, or he might have kept talking, but I was no longer paying attention to him. My ability to think had finally come back.

If it weren't for Cross' comments and actions, I probably would have thought that I had fallen asleep on the train, and that this was some strange nightmare. But this really was happening. Allen was pregnant. With _my_ child. I had gotten him pregnant. I was going to be a father. I didn't know how to process that, it was a concept that I couldn't wrap my head around, but I knew I wouldn't know how I felt towards my child until I actually saw the baby.

My feelings towards Allen were another issue. If my feelings had never changed, it would have been so easy to process that he was going to be giving birth to my child soon. I would have been able to just walk away. But now that I knew that I was in love with the Moyashi, everything was so much more complicated. But I quickly realized that how I felt over the whole situation was hurt. It hurt me that he had hidden this from me, that he had never told me he was pregnant. "Were you ever going to tell me?"

Allen had apparently still been talking, as his mouth snapped shut at my interruption. He blinked at me for a moment before he turned his gaze back to his pregnant belly. "No. I planned to give up the baby for adoption and then return to the Order as if nothing had happened. I was never going to tell you or anyone else that I had had a child."

I had to wait for another contraction to pass before he clarified. "I thought about telling you, after all, it's your baby too, but it was you and me. Any attempt I made to tell you would have resulted in an argument and you hating me more than you already do. I counted myself lucky that you truly had forgotten our drunken night together, and left it at that."

I wanted to tell him that he was wrong, that I didn't hate him, but I couldn't make myself say the words. So I asked something else that was bothering me. "'Planned'? Past tense? Meaning it's not what you want anymore?"

Allen sighed heavily and rubbed his belly through the thin dress. "I don't know. I never really wanted to give up my baby, and then to have you show up, today of all days, just when I happened to go into labor, it's just so... ugh. I don't know."

His head suddenly snapped up and his silver gaze was clear as he stared at me. "Why _are_ you here anyway? Why come looking for me? Why- argh!"

Allen doubled over as another contraction hit him. It was hard watching him in pain, but there wasn't anything I could do other than watch; comforting him would have been a waste of energy and, even though I loved him, it was not in my character to do so.

Instead of returning his attention to me when the contraction passed, Allen pushed himself off the bed with a whole lot of effort, and waddled to the open door. "Oi, Cross! My water broke! Get your butt down here!"

It wasn't until he said the words that I noticed the wet spot on the sheets and the trail of liquid that had followed him to the doorway. I was at a loss for words over what I was witnessing.

Cross appeared in the room before Allen made it back to the bed. Without speaking to each other, they prepped for what was about to happen. Allen climbed fully onto the bed and laid down. Reclining against the pillows, he arranged the fabric of his dress, bent his knees, and spread his legs. Cross tied his hair back, rolled up his sleeves, and then knelt between Allen's spread legs.

I couldn't see what Cross was doing from the angle I was at, but he wore a very serious expression. Looking at Allen though, I could tell from the embarrassment on his face and the way he occasionally squirmed that Cross was examining his birth canal.

Cross grunted as he climbed off the bed. He spoke as he fixed his sleeves. "You're about five centimeters dilated. Only halfway there. I'll check you again in an hour. In the meantime-"

He glared at me, but Allen interrupted him with a heavy sigh. "Save the lecture. He didn't know. I never told him."

Cross' glare turned on Allen. The Moyashi squirmed under the tense gaze. "He was out on a mission when I found out, and you showed up and whisked me away before he returned."

"Allen." Cross and I both knew that Allen was making excuses.

The name was all it took to make the Moyashi cave. "Fine. I was never going to tell him. We don't even like each other. We got drunk one night and had sex. That's all. I don't even remember doing it."

Another contraction hit him, and Allen and Cross glared at each other through it. The staring contest broke when Cross turned and left the room. Allen sighed and collapsed back onto the pillows on the bed. He closed his eyes and turned his head towards the wall. "You can go ahead and leave now. I know you don't want to be here, dealing with this. So just go. I don't mind."

The dejected expression on his face contradicted his words. But I couldn't tell if it was because he didn't want me to leave or if he was upset over me finding out about his pregnancy. I couldn't leave though. I didn't want to leave. The whole baby thing was weird, but I still hadn't told him that my feelings had changed, and I knew now that I had to do that. I couldn't put it off any longer.

I stood up from my chair and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, careful to avoid the wet spot from Allen's water breaking. The Moyashi's eyes flew wide open as he felt my weight on the mattress. "Kanda?! What are you-?!"

"I can't leave yet, Moyashi. I haven't gotten what I came here for."

The confused look on his face was priceless. "What do you mean? What-?"

I cut him off when I leaned in and kissed him. It was just a brief kiss; I pulled away before he reacted. He lay there frozen for a moment before he started freaking out. "What the hell was that?! You came all this way to kiss me?! What-? Why-? _Why?_ "

I sighed and stared at a blank spot on the wall. He didn't hit me, so at least I knew I hadn't made him _too_ angry. "I told you that morning that I wanted to know if your feelings ever changed. Well, mine did. A long time ago. But you were gone by the time I figured it out. So when I learned where you were, I had to come see you. I had to tell you, I love you."

This time Allen did look like he was going to hit me, but a contraction distracted him from doing so. When it passed, he leaned back against the pillows and stared at the ceiling. He said nothing.

I didn't expect him to say the words back. Sure, part of me had hoped that he would, but I had been fairly certain that he wouldn't. This shocked beyond words reaction was actually better than what I thought he would do, especially given the circumstances, so I just sat there and waited for him to gather his thoughts.

It wasn't until after another contraction worked its way through his body that he finally reacted. He reached over and tugged on my hair. I immediately grabbed his hand and pulled it out of the strands. "Oi! What the fuck do you think you're doing, Baka Moyashi?"

He sighed and let his hand fall to the mattress. "I was just... making sure that that was really you. You said something really bizarre, and I had to make sure my brain wasn't playing tricks on me."

I snorted at that. "You're in labor, Moyashi. I don't think you have the right to judge me for saying weird things."

"Point taken..." Allen's hand began rubbing his belly, and he was silent for a moment. When he did speak again, it was more like he was thinking out loud than actually talking to me. "Well, you're obviously not joking, you would never joke about _that_ , especially not under these circumstances. And you wouldn't say it to be mean either, that's not your style; if you wanted to hurt me, you'd have done it physically. But you would also never hop on a train just to come see _me_ , like you claim to have done."

He stopped talking to groan through another contraction, and I used the silence afterwards to set him straight. "I would if I meant everything I said."

Allen stared at me for a moment, silver eyes wide with shock, before he looked away. His voice was really quiet when he spoke. "...Why now?"

I snorted. "Because fate has a cruel sense of humor. I didn't exactly plan on finding you in labor, you know."

He let out a sound that could only be described as a giggle. "That's true."

This time when silence fell between us, it felt a little less awkward. Allen broke the silence to groan through another contraction, and when it passed he scowled at me. "You're awfully calm for someone who was just told that he's going to be a father."

I raised an eyebrow at the accusation. "You're awfully calm for a _man_ who's going to be giving birth soon. Shouldn't you be freaking out?"

"Touché."

Silence fell once again, this time even more comfortable than the last. I didn't speak again until after the Moyashi's next contraction. "Why are you so calm anyway?"

Allen sighed and pushed himself up into a sitting position. He rubbed circles on his belly as he spoke. "Not long after I left the Order with Cross, he apprenticed me to a midwife."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Really? A midwife?"

He snorted. "Yeah. He said it would either convince me to abort the baby or teach me what I needed to know for childbirth, because he wasn't going to sit here and hold my hand through it."

Allen's laughter at the memory was cut off by a contraction. When it passed, he looked up at the clock and muttered under his breath. "Three and a half minutes."

I shot him a questioning look, but he ignored it and went back to telling his story. "I spent six weeks working under Miss Stella. Between seeing all that and having to act like I was a girl, it was really hard. I didn't think I could take it. And the first time I witnessed a woman giving birth... it took everything I had to keep from passing out. After it was over, Miss Stella began to chew me out for my behavior, but that's when she figured out I was pregnant, so instead of getting lectured, we just sat and talked about my pregnancy. She's the only person I know who agreed with my decision to not abort the baby."

The groan he let out this time was a borderline scream, and he swore under his breath when the contraction passed. "Anyway, to answer your question, I'm calm because I'm a fully certified midwife. This may be my first time giving birth, but I've delivered quite a few babies over the past several months."

It was hard to imagine the Moyashi as a midwife; it was almost as ridiculous as him being pregnant. "It'd be interesting to see the look on the rabbit's face when you tell him that."

"Oh god, can you imagine?" Allen let out a short snicker, but the humor faded quickly. "Ugh. I don't think I'd ever hear the end of it if he found out I had a baby, though."

That thought made me panic a little. "It'd be even worse if he found out that it was mine."

The Moyashi snorted. "And now you see why I wasn't going to tell anyone that I was pregnant."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I agree, Kanda is probably a little too calm right now, but he knows that if he loses his temper, it would be Cross he'd have to deal with, and he definitely doesn't want that. ;)

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Aside from a few muttered curses during his contractions, nothing more was said between Allen and me for a while. We just sat beside each other, lost in our own thoughts. It was a relatively comfortable silence, and it stayed that way until Cross came back.

I moved back to the chair, partially because I knew that Allen needed the bed space and partially because of the disapproving look on Cross' face when he saw us sitting together. Allen repeated his earlier action of laying down and spreading his legs. He glared at Cross when the redhead didn't move from the doorway. "Check me first and then you can say whatever it is that you're thinking."

Cross shifted his scowl from me to Allen, but then he was all business. He rolled up his sleeves as he strode across the room. "How far apart are your contractions?"

"Three and half minutes." _Oh, so that's what that meant._

"And when did they start?"

"I noticed the first around ten this morning, so it's been about eight hours."

Cross nodded as he knelt and examined the Moyashi. "Six and a half centimeters. You're making progress, but it's still going to be a few hours before it's time."

Allen nodded and let his legs fall from their spread position. Cross turned his scowl on me, and out of habit, I matched it. "Now then, if you truly didn't know about his condition, then what exactly are you doing here?"

My gaze flicked briefly to the Moyashi before I stared firmly at Cross. It was best to just tell him the truth and get it over with. "I came to confess. Unlike him, I actually remember that night, and I came to tell him that I love him."

It was clear from the look on Cross' face that that wasn't one of the answers he had expected me to give. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed that the Moyashi was bright red, but Cross was only speechless for a few seconds, so I couldn't dwell on that. "Normally I'd question you about your intentions towards Allen, but given his current condition and the fact that you haven't left yet, it's fairly obvious what your intentions are. So, that just leaves the baby."

I interrupted him before he could go any further. "It's been an hour and a half. I've only known long enough to have accepted that it's biologically my baby. That's it. If you want me to figure out more than that, you're going to have to give me more time."

"Fair enough." Cross turned from me to smirk at Allen. "Just don't believe him when he says he's giving the baby away."

"Che. He's already admitted that he doesn't want to."

"Hey! I-" The Moyashi's attempt to protest turned into a whimpering groan.

Cross ignored the contraction and raised an eyebrow at me, but he didn't share what was on his mind, and instead left the room. I'd learn later that the general was begrudgingly impressed that I had gotten Allen to say out loud what he had known from the beginning: despite his assertions to the contrary, the Moyashi was never going to be able to give away his child.

A muffled groan turned my attention back to the Moyashi. He had buried his face in his hands. "Did you really have to tell Cross _that_?!"

Not knowing what he was referring to, I simply shrugged and waited for him to complain more. "Now that he knows you would have accepted my pregnancy, he's going to be on my ass forever for not telling you!"

I chuckled slightly at the Moyashi's misery, but I had to correct him. "I don't know that I would have accepted it, Moyashi. It took you going away for me to get my feelings figured out. There's no telling how I would have reacted if you had told me before then."

He was silent for a moment, and when he finally spoke, it was quiet and uncertain. "So you really are serious then? You really... feel that way... about me?"

I snorted. "Moyashi, I love you so much that I hopped on a train almost as soon as I learned where you were staying. As you already pointed out, that's not the kind of thing that I do."

"And the baby doesn't change that?" The words were soft, like he was scared of what my answer would be.

"Should it?" The question made him turn and look at me. "The way I see it, if you being pregnant _had_ changed my feelings, then it wouldn't have really been love that I felt for you."

Once again I had to wait for the Moyashi's next contraction to pass before I got a response from him. He was slightly out of breath when he spoke. "What exactly is it that you want from me?"

"I don't know."

Allen snorted at me. "That's a helpful answer, Bakanda."

I frowned at his sarcasm. "I guess not. But that's the part that you being pregnant _did_ change."

"Oh. Right." The Moyashi sighed heavily. He worked his way into a sitting position and stared at his lap. "In that case, would you be ok with me responding to your confession in that same way?"

"Of course." I kept a calm expression, but that actually made me ridiculously happy. I knew my Moyashi well enough to know that 'I'll think about it' actually meant that he just wasn't ready to say out loud that he returned my feelings.

We sat in silence until the Moyashi had another contraction. When it passed, he gave his belly a frustrated pout. "Come on, Baby, just come out of me already."

The scene was adorable, but I kept from commenting, knowing that it would only end with the Moyashi angry with me. Instead, I watched in confusion as Allen struggled to stand from the bed. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to walk around. It'll help... speed things up." He clutched his belly for balance when he finally made it to his feet, but he pushed it aside and smiled at me. "Walk with me. I need something to hold on to, so that I don't fall during a contraction."

I smirked at the demanded request. "Are you asking for help, Moyashi?"

"Bakanda." He stuck his tongue out at me, but then his stare grew cold. "I'm in labor with your child. I'm allowed to ask for help, right?"

His tone made me laugh, and I was immediately punched in the shoulder. I rubbed the spot and scowled at Allen. He seemed really freaked out. "Don't do that. It's creepy."

"Huh? What's creepy?"

"You. Laughing. Knock it off."

His flustered tone just made me laugh more. I stood from my seat and kissed him. He blushed and weakly tried to shove me away. "You can knock that off too."

"But I don't want to. You're too beautiful."

The Moyashi turned bright red at my words. "Ba-Bakanda! Don't say things like that!"

"Why not?"

He frowned, that embarrassed blush still vibrant on his face. "I don't want you to lie to me."

I leaned closer and whispered in his ear. "I'm not lying."

He latched onto me as his next contraction made him nearly lose his balance. When it was over, he glared up at me, but didn't remove his hold on my jacket. "Fine, then don't say things like that while I'm in labor. They're too distracting."

I kissed his forehead, noticing for the first time how matted with sweat his white hair already was; despite how well he was handling his labor, it really was hard on him. "I suppose I can do that."

We spent the rest of the hour pacing the hall together. He asked about what he'd missed in the months he was gone, and I told him a couple stories about the things Lenalee and the Usagi had been up to. Despite the fact that I was the one doing all the talking, and that we were constantly interrupted by his contractions, it was a nice time.

But then we were back in the bedroom, and Cross was checking Allen's birth canal again. "Nine centimeters. You're almost there. How far apart are your contractions now?"

"Less than two minutes." He paused to scream through a particularly painful contraction. He was gasping for breath when it was over. "And the baby's in position."

Cross nodded in acknowledgment. "Is your bag still hanging on the coat rack?"

"It should be. I haven't exactly used it lately."

Cross was out of the room the second the words were out of Allen's mouth. Wanting an explanation, I raised an eyebrow at him. "What bag?"

The Moyashi snorted at my confusion. "I'm a midwife, remember? It's that bag; it's got all the tools I need for delivering babies in it."

I frowned at that. I didn't think that he actually would have done that type of work once his apprenticeship was over. "Exactly how many babies have you delivered?"

Allen shrugged. "By myself? At least two dozen." He screamed through another contraction. When he spoke again, I was focused on how high that number seemed, and I didn't expect him to pick up where he left off. "I didn't exactly count them, and with how we've been moving around, it's hard to keep track. That and it's been about six weeks since my last delivery."

"How come?"

The Moyashi sighed. "I had to stop once I got too far into my pregnancy. I couldn't risk going into labor while I was working."

I blinked at him. "Why's that?"

He snorted at me again. "Cross' spell only made me _look_ female. I remained male where it counts." He smirked at the expression on my face. "Of course, given that I currently have _both_ parts, they probably would have just assumed that I'm a hermaphrodite."

I was saved from having to respond to that by another contraction. Like the last couple, this one made him scream in pain, and he gasped for breath when it was over. Cross returned then with towels, a basin of water, and what could only be described as a woman's handbag. He put the things down and checked the Moyashi again. "You're not quite there; it's still going to be a bit."

Allen nodded at Cross, and it was clear that he was keeping his mouth shut to keep himself from swearing.

The next fifteen minutes were silent save for Allen's screaming and the heavy breathing after the contractions passed. The Moyashi kept giving me the same look after each contraction, and it took me far too long to figure out that he was asking if I was going to stay with him through the birth. I didn't know if I wanted to stay, but it was clearly what he wanted, so I reached out and took his right hand in both of mine.

Then Cross announced that it was time.

Allen spent the next hour screaming as he tried to push the baby out of his body. Like with the rest of his labor, he did a spectacular job of maintaining his composure, but it was obvious that he was in more pain than he'd ever experienced before. It was hard seeing him like that, and I wanted to leave, but he kept such a firm grip on my hand that I couldn't move. But just when I thought I couldn't take any more, Cross informed us that the baby's head was crowning.

What came next was even more screaming, Allen's grip on my hand tightening to the point of almost breaking it, and a whole lot of disturbing things that I chose to ignore. I focused on the Moyashi's face, and completely blocked out what was happening between his legs.

When it was all over, the Moyashi collapsed against the pillows, nearly laughing in relief. He kissed the back of my hand and smiled at me as he finally let go. "Thanks for staying."

My sarcastic response was stopped by the sound of the baby crying. I watched Cross hand the cleaned and blanketed baby to the Moyashi, and he immediately started bawling. "Hi Baby."

While Allen babbled nonsense at the baby, Cross turned his focus on me. I merely raised an eyebrow at him. "It hasn't been enough time yet."

The redhead scowled at me, but he remained silent and left the room. My attention returned to the Moyashi when he began tugging on my jacket sleeve. "Come closer."

At his bidding, I joined him on the bed. We sat side by side, and before I knew what was happening, he was putting the baby in my arms. I glared at the Moyashi, but he just grinned as he adjusted my hold on the baby. "See, Baby? Your daddy's here too. He came all this way just to tell me he loves me. We're going to be a family."

 _'Daddy'? 'A family'? What's he going on about?!_ "Oi! Moyashi!"

He laughed lightly at my reaction, and then he leaned in and kissed me. "That's my condition, Yuu. If you want me to accept your confession, then you have to accept your child."

I frowned at him, and his use of my first name, but he just kissed me again. "Don't give me that look, Yuu. You know as well as I do that you're only upset because it's biologically your baby. If I had gotten pregnant through a rape, you would have no issues with accepting the baby as your own."

My frown deepened. I hadn't thought of it that way, but it was definitely true. It irked me that he knew me that well. Seeing my reaction, the Moyashi smirked deviously at me. "If it makes you feel better, I was so drunk that night that what you did to me could probably be considered rape."

That did not make me feel better. "Oi! Baka Moyashi! I was just as drunk as you were!"

He snickered and kissed me again. That was three times now that he'd initiated a kiss. It was a little mind blowing given how hesitant he had been just a couple hours earlier. Seizing the opportunity, I deepened the kiss. He fought for dominance, but he didn't have much stamina at the moment, and had to break the kiss before one of us won.

When he pulled away, his gaze was hard. "Yuu. Stop dawdling and look at the baby."

So he _had_ noticed that even though the baby was in my arms I hadn't looked at it yet. I frowned at him, but he had that 'do what I want or there will be consequences' look down pat.

I would fiercely deny it later, especially around Lavi and Teidoll, but I cried the first time I laid eyes on my daughter. It was just a few tears, nothing like the sobbing Allen had done, but it was crying nonetheless. I couldn't help it. It was love at first sight. She was just so tiny and helpless. Everything about her, from her teeny fingers to the scrunched up expression on her face, was precious. She was my beautiful baby girl, and I never wanted to let her go.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Here's chapter 5!

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The Moyashi smirked at my reaction, but didn't comment on the tears, something I was immensely grateful for. He leaned against my shoulder and sighed softly. "See? She's perfect. So what do you say, Yuu? Do you want to be a family with me and Adeline?"

"Adeline?" The name was hard to say without accidentally muddling it with my accent, much like the Moyashi's real name.

The Moyashi stiffened. "Do you not like it? We can come up with something else for her if you want."

His reaction made me laugh a little. "No, it's good. It fits her well. I'm just curious who she is, that's all."

"What do you mean?"

I wanted to ruffle his hair over his confused tone, but I couldn't with the baby in my arms, so I had to settle for nudging his shoulder. "You named her after someone, right? Who's the original Adeline?"

"Oh. Right." I couldn't see his face, but I could feel the heat from his embarrassed blush. "You'll probably think this is weird, but she was Miss Stella's mother. She died in childbirth, and that's what inspired Miss Stella to become a midwife. It seemed fitting that I name my inspiration for becoming a midwife after my teacher's."

His words made me tear my gaze from the baby to stare critically at him. "You actually liked being a midwife, didn't you?"

"Once I got over my initial issues, I did." He laughed briefly then sighed heavily. "As exorcists it seems like all we see is death and destruction. It felt good to be surrounded by life for a change."

Allen suddenly yawned and leaned back against the pillows. "There's a blanket under the bed, can you get it for me?"

I blinked at the unexpected subject change. "Sure..."

It took some awkward maneuvering, but I managed to hand the baby back to him without dropping her. The blanket was easy to find, and I quickly spread it over the bed, letting it fall completely over the Moyashi's head. I waited until he complained, a muttered, "bastard", before I fixed it.

When I uncovered the Moyashi's upper body, he was doing something strange. The top of his dress was unbuttoned, and the baby's face was against his bare chest. He smiled sheepishly at me. "Sorry you had to see this. It usually takes time for babies to get used to breastfeeding. I didn't expect her to latch on right away."

The thought of him breastfeeding was a little weird, so I chose to brush it aside. I snickered as I sat down in the chair. "She probably inherited your bottomless stomach."

The Moyashi laughed lightly at the joke, but then turned serious. "As long as it's not because she has a parasitic Innocence, then that's ok."

He looked down at the nursing baby. "Right, Addie? We don't want you to be an accommodator."

"Maybe we do."

"Why would you say that?!" It wasn't until Allen looked at me, his silver eyes wide with fear, that I realized I had spoken out loud.

I sighed and shared my thoughts. "Will we be allowed to keep the baby if she's not a future exorcist? I know that Komui won't care, but what about Central?"

"Oh. I hadn't thought about that." He sighed heavily and turned back to the baby. "In that case, Addie, we'll just have to play it by ear. I don't want you to be an exorcist, but your daddy's right. I'd rather have you be an accommodator than have to give you up because you're not."

She gurgled at him, and he leaned down and kissed her forehead. I had to interrupt the tender moment. "Stop calling me 'daddy'."

The teary look in Allen's eyes made it clear he misunderstood me. I couldn't help rolling my eyes as I clarified. "Use 'tou-san'. That's the Japanese word. Or use 'father' if you want to keep using English. But not 'daddy'. I don't want the Baka Usagi picking up on that."

He laughed, but it quickly turned into a yawn. When it passed, he smiled happily at me. "Thanks, Yuu. For everything. I never thought you would have stayed with me while I gave birth." He yawned again. "I need to get some sleep now. I don't know if you were planning to leave right away or not, but will you at least stay until morning? My room's the one at the top of the stairs. I'm sort of stuck here, so you can use it if you want."

"Of course I'll stay. I want to make sure that your mind doesn't change once you're no longer exhausted and hormonal. Plus I have a feeling that Cross would hurt me if I tried to leave." I stood from the chair and leaned over to kiss him. "Will you be ok here alone?"

He smiled gently at me. "I'm not alone; I've got Adeline with me, right Addie?"

We said goodnight, and I left the room, closing the door behind me. I began to walk away, but I stopped when I heard Allen start talking to the baby again. I probably would have rolled my eyes at the exhausted babbling and kept walking, but he was talking about me, and that made me stay and listen, not caring that I was eavesdropping on his private thoughts. "Well, Addie, can you believe that Kanda actually said that to me? And he said it four times, too! But I don't feel the same way. I want to, he's your father after all, and I kinda want to sleep with him again, but that's just physical attraction. I know I told him I'd accept his confession, but was that the right thing to do? Is it right to think that I'll learn to love him? Or would it have been better to tell him no? I don't know if I'll be able to handle it if we try to be a family and it falls apart. But on the other hand... You know, Addie, I've never really believed Lenalee when she talked about Kanda's soft side, but he showed me a side of himself today that I'd never seen before. He laughed and smiled, and even called me beautiful. And I want to get to know that Kanda. I..."

I couldn't take any more and had to walk away. So I was wrong, he didn't love me back, he just didn't hate me anymore. But he wanted to try. And honestly, that was still better than I could have hoped for. I had gotten him pregnant during a night of drunk sex, he was supposed to hate me more, not want to get to know me better. He'd also admitted to wanting to have sex again. So I was going to be selfish and take what he was willing to give me.

General Cross was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. He leaned against the banister with his arms crossed and scowled at me. "So?"

I knew what he was asking without him having to say the words. I didn't want to have this conversation, especially not with Cross, but everyone knew that despite his actions, he cared as much about Allen as Teidoll cared about me, so I supposed that I should just be grateful that he had respected my wishes and waited until we were alone to confront me. "The Moyashi said that he would accept my confession if I accept the baby. So that's what I'm going to do."

The redhead's glare hardened. "I've been waiting for eight months to get my hands on the bastard who knocked Allen up and then left him. You're going to have to do better than that."

His tone and his words pissed me off. "Che. You make it sound like I dumped him for getting pregnant. I didn't know until I got here that that was the case. We were never a couple either. It was just one night where we were both incredibly drunk."

It took explaining how we got drunk, but eventually Cross backed down. Despite it only being ten o'clock, I was completely exhausted, and I fell asleep the moment I laid down.

.x.x.

I didn't know what woke me up, just that I was awake and it wasn't because Adeline was crying. Only one night with her so far and I was already tired of the middle of the night feedings. She was perfect though, and I did not regret giving in to my desire to keep my baby.

Since I wasn't needed right away, I used the quiet moment to take stock of my body. There was still a lot of pain in my torso, but that was to be expected given how recently I'd given birth. The same thing applied to the aching hole between my legs; the birth canal would close once my womb was sufficiently healed, and in my opinion that couldn't happen soon enough. At least my belly was lighter; it was going to be so much easier to move around without a full term baby inside me.

It was then that I realized that Addie wasn't in the bed with me.

 _Oh god. Where is she? Did Cross take her? Or did she fall off the bed? Or worse, did I push her off in my sleep? Is she ok? Or is she lying on the ground hurt? Or-?_

My eyes flew open in my panic, but before I could register what I was seeing, I heard an unfamiliar chuckle, followed by a very familiar voice saying, "Good morning, Moyashi."

"Kanda?" _What's he doing here? ... Oh. Right. Kanda was here when I gave birth yesterday._ I blinked rapidly and finally saw Kanda sitting in the chair beside the bed with Addie in his arms.

I relaxed at knowing where my baby was, but the look on Kanda's face was unsettling. I couldn't recall ever seeing him _happy_ before. He smirked at the dumbfounded expression on my face. "I realize that you're exhausted, Moyashi, but you better not have forgotten what happened last night."

"Of course not!" It was only sort of a lie; my fuzzy brain just hadn't connected the dots yet. _Last night... Kanda..._ "I remember... that you..."

"I confessed last night, Moyashi." His tone was impatient rather than angry; it was more like he was upset over how long it was taking me to remember than that he was upset because I couldn't remember.

The memory of that moment was surreal. The man I had spent the last three years fighting with had admitted to being in love with me. I knew I wasn't dreaming. I had been through many what-if scenarios in my head over the last eight months, and not a single one of them involved Kanda saying the words 'I love you' to me. A couple of my nicer fantasies had involved him ignoring me and his baby, but most had involved him physically hurting me when he found out about my pregnancy. I had never once imagined that he would want to be with me. His actions yesterday completely contradicted the way he'd acted towards me over the last three years, and I knew that it was because I was finally seeing who he really was underneath all of that anger and sarcasm. "Right. You kissed me and told me that you love me. And then I... I..."

I could not for the life of me remember how I had responded to his confession. And Kanda's answer certainly surprised me. "You said that if I want to be in a relationship with you then I have to be a father to my daughter."

Had I really told Kanda that I would date him? That didn't seem right. But it did explain why he was still here. And why he was holding Adeline. I sifted through my hazy memories and realized that yes, some time in the hour after giving birth, I had told Kanda that I wanted us to be a family.

As wrong as that seemed, it also sounded really good. I had spent the second half of my pregnancy wishing that I could keep my baby, yet knowing that it was impossible under the circumstances. But with Kanda wanting to date me, things were completely different, and not only would I be able to keep Addie, but I would be dating her father.

However, in the cold light of day, that didn't seem like a good enough reason for agreeing to go out with Kanda. So what had been my other reasons for saying yes? Why had I agreed to be in a romantic relationship with a man who had once stabbed me through the stomach?

 _I want to._

The thought startled me. But the strangest part was that it was as true now as it was last night. I wanted to date Kanda. I wanted him to kiss me and tell me I was beautiful again. I wanted to know what it was like to be that man's lover instead of his enemy.

I was jostled from my thoughts when Kanda sat down on the bed beside me. And when I looked up at him, he leaned down and kissed me. It was just a short peck, but it sparked so many feelings that I almost missed what he said afterwards. "Moyashi. If you've changed your mind about this then just say so."

 _Since when was Kanda patient and understanding like this?_ ... The whole time, if Lenalee's stories were trustworthy; I just never got to see this side of him before his feelings for me changed. "No. I still want this. I-"

"Before you finish that sentence, you should know that I heard you talking to Addie last night." I froze at his words, embarrassed that he had heard me babble my thoughts to our newborn daughter.

He chuckled and brushed the hand that wasn't supporting Adeline into my hair. I was expecting Kanda to laugh at me, and the affectionate reaction really threw me off. "I know you don't love me back, so don't say it unless you mean it. I don't expect you to feel the same way I do right away. It's more than good enough that you're willing to try, and hopefully some day down the road you will return my feelings. Understand?"

"I think so." I blinked at him and a couple tears fell. Having a baby had turned me into an emotional wreck.

Before I could wipe away the tears, Kanda's lips were on my cheek. He gently kissed my tears away and then kissed me on the lips. Unlike the one earlier, this kiss was deep and took my breath away. I blushed bright red, and that just made Kanda laugh.

He placed Adeline into my arms with a care I'd only ever seen him show towards his sword. It was shocking... but then again, Kanda _had_ cried when he first held her. It wasn't much of a stretch to say that he already loved our daughter. That was almost weirder than him loving me; Kanda and babies didn't seem to go together. But I could ignore that. I wanted Kanda to love our baby.

No one could ever love Adeline more than I did though. I was her mother. Not her father, her mother. I had carried her inside my body for nine months and suffered through hours of labor to bring her into the word, I had earned the right to use that title. I didn't care if it was feminine.

Kanda didn't get up after giving Adeline to me. Instead, we just sat together and watched our sleeping baby. It was a beautifully perfect moment.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Sorry, I know the last couple chapters got a little slow, things will be picking up now that the baby's been born.

To Mashiro Ruri (and anyone else who's curious): I realize your review wasn't a question, but yes, Erika is my usual name for Allen and Kanda's daughter. When I'm writing mpreg, I choose the baby's name based on what I want the baby to look like. It's usually Erika, as I usually write that Allen and Kanda have a baby girl with navy hair and silver eyes. In this story, the baby girl has auburn hair and silver eyes (which I don't actually say in the story until next chapter, oops, small spoiler, sorry), so that makes her name Adeline. I have four other mpreg stories in progress (five if you count "A Second Neko"), so you will be seeing Erika again. ;)

Now, on to chapter 6!

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The next month was hard. General Cross reported my disappearance to Komui, telling him all about my involvement in Allen's pregnancy. The Supervisor didn't believe it for a second, but he nonetheless followed Cross' suggestion to punish me by making me take responsibility for the baby I had created. So instead of returning to headquarters as if nothing had happened, I was ordered to stay in Nice with Allen and Cross. The redhead mostly ignored us, and he was almost never home at night, but when he was around, he did his best to make my life hell.

As if it wasn't already hell.

Allen was an emotional mess; he could go from calm and happy to foaming at the mouth over the littlest things, and then he'd have a crying fit over how upset he got. Cross explained that it was the pregnancy hormones working their way out of his system; he also said it was my punishment for missing the mood swings earlier in his pregnancy.

Adeline was quite useful for making the Moyashi shut up. Whenever he got on my nerves, all I had to do was give him the baby, and he'd stop yelling and screaming to fawn over her.

Aside from that however, she was even more of a pain than he was. Newborn babies apparently don't do anything more than sleep, eat, cry, throw up, and go to the bathroom. Getting woken up in the middle of the night by a hungry baby was not pleasant, and neither was making Allen get up to breastfeed her. The diapers were the worst part though. It seemed like she needed to be changed constantly, and unless Allen was in a good mood, which was almost never, that task got farmed out to me. Any free time I got was spent meditating so that I could keep my sanity.

Of course, that only made Cross tease me more than he already was. I could only meditate while Addie was asleep, so I had taken to meditating on my back while she slept on my chest. It was my way of bonding with my daughter. But Cross found it "girlier than anything Allen's ever done". I didn't get it. To me the girliest thing the Moyashi did was refer to himself as "mommy" when he talked to Addie; my meditation routine was nothing compared to that. The Moyashi tried to explain it to me, but he couldn't get the point across. It was hard for him to explain why it irritated Cross when he loved it. "You meditating like that means that you're not using Addie as a way to get to me. It means that you love our daughter. And that means the world to me."

Making it all even harder was that I couldn't stand to hear Addie cry. And not because it was annoying and got on my nerves, which it did, but because it broke my heart. She was my precious baby, and I hated to see her like that.

However, the parasitic Innocence between her shoulder blades was hands down the most agonizing thing of all.

The month wasn't all bad though. Setting aside his moodiness, things between the Moyashi and me were actually pretty good. Once I had set him straight, explaining that I didn't want him to say 'I love you' back to me unless he meant it, he finally relaxed around me. We spent a lot of time just sitting together and talking. We still had our opposite views and personalities, but we began to understand each other. And over the course of trying to make him fall in love with me, I fell deeper in love with him.

We got to have a real first date when Addie was about a week old. It wasn't much, just dinner out for Allen's birthday, but it was nice. The whole thing was Cross' idea, and he actually willingly babysat Addie so that we could have that time to ourselves. I think he might have been trying to break us up, but if he was, it didn't work.

It was rather obvious from looking at him that Allen had been pregnant, so Cross transformed him back into Ellen whenever errands demanded that he leave the house. It had the added bonus of us not having to out ourselves as gay when we went out together, but that didn't make seeing a woman instead of Allen any easier. It was usually tolerable, but on a date...

It was annoying sitting down to a romantic dinner with a woman I wasn't particularly attracted to. On the other hand, it prompted me to explain to Allen that I found the scar on his face attractive, which led to us sleeping in the same bed that night. Platonically, of course, but it was a step in the right direction.

.x.x.

When Adeline was a month old, it was decided that Allen had recovered enough from giving birth to travel. Which meant that it was time to return to headquarters.

The night before we left, Allen and I had a very deep discussion about what we were going to do next. I had assumed he would make up some lie about adopting Adeline, so it surprised me that he wanted to tell the truth. "It's different now that you're in the picture, Yuu. I'd rather be teased for getting pregnant than lie and pretend I'm not related to her. Plus it's no longer a drunken accident. Err, technically it still is, but you're my boyfriend now, so it's more acceptable for us to have a baby together, right Yuu?"

"'Boyfriend'?" I raised an eyebrow at him. He'd never called me that before.

The Moyashi blushed bright red. I loved making that expression appear on his face, he was so adorable like that. He dropped his gaze to the sleeping baby in his arms. "Yeah. This past month with you has been nice. Well, as nice as it could be given the circumstances. I like being able to talk to you without it ending in violence. And you've been better with Addie than I ever could have hoped. I want things to continue like this once we're back at the Order, and we have to be in a relationship for that to happen, so, yeah, you're my boyfriend now."

He smiled at me, but I could see the uncertainty in his eyes. He was expecting me to argue with him, because that's what the side of me that he was most familiar with would do. I leaned over and kissed him. He pulled away and blushed so red that his scar almost disappeared.

I laughed at the reaction. "You do realize that if I'm your boyfriend then you're going to have to let me kiss you in public, right?"

I tried to kiss him again, but all I got were his fingers as he pushed me away. His blush had faded to a hesitant smirk. "Yes. I realize that. But I have a condition."

"Of course you do." I snorted and leaned back against the couch. "You always have conditions. 'We can hold hands at the market, but I have to carry the basket.' 'We can sleep in the same bed, but I have to-'"

He punched me in the shoulder. "I get it. Shut up now."

I smirked at him and gestured for him to get to the point. He sighed and returned his focus to the baby. "Actually I have two conditions, but you don't really have to do anything for the first one... I want Addie to take your last name."

"Moyashi..."

"Just hear me out, Yuu." He sighed again and began running his fingers through Addie's wispy hair. "I know things will be chaotic once we go back to the Order, and if something happens, or if this thing between us falls apart, I want you to remember that you still have a responsibility to her. I don't want you to forget that she's your daughter."

"Moyashi, I would never-"

"I know, but things could change." His frown turned into a smirk. "Besides, 'Adeline Kanda' sounds so much better than 'Adeline Walker', don't you agree?"

I laughed at the childish look on his face. "Fine. What's the other condition?"

"I want you to start using my real name." The look on the Moyashi's face said he was completely serious.

I was stunned. I knew that that was going to come up sooner or later, but I didn't expect him to be so direct about it. "Moyashi, I-"

He was quick to interrupt my protest. "I'm not talking all the time, Yuu. I know you weren't lying when you said it's hard for you to say. But I want to hear you say it. So even if it's only when we're alone, could you please call me 'Allen'?"

When I didn't respond, he continued to babble. "You're my boyfriend now. You should use my real name, Yuu. And it's not like I'm asking you to use it around Lavi. You can continue to call me 'Moyashi' around him if you want. And if-"

"Allen, shut up."

Saying 'shut up' was completely pointless as he had gone silent the second I said his name, but I said it anyway. His silver eyes were huge as he stared at me. Once again, I caught that feeling of disbelief from him, like he hadn't expected me to give in. I brushed my hand through his freshly cut white hair and leaned in and kissed him. "As long as you understand that I'm uncomfortable with saying it in public, and that I won't use it all the time, then I have no issues with using your real name in exchange for getting to kiss you in public."

The Moyashi slowly stood from the couch, he placed Addie down in her bassinet, and then he was in my lap. Before I could question him, he had his arms around my neck and was pressing his lips firmly against mine. Even after a month it was still unusual for him to initiate a kiss, and he had never been that forceful before. I responded to the kiss, wrapping my arms around his waist, which still had a chubby layer of baby weight, and pulled him down with me so that we were laying on the couch. He tangled his fingers into my hair, and pushed his tongue into my mouth. We fought for dominance as we made out, but his stamina gave out before there was a clear winner.

He lay on top of me, panting heavily, the hardness of his erection pressing against my hip. I wanted to tease him by touching it, but I knew that that would end badly. He'd nearly broken my nose the last time I did that. The pregnancy hormones had made him temporarily impotent, and now that he was able to function again, he was really sensitive about the whole thing.

Since touching him would piss him off, I settled for calling attention to it. "It's a shame your body can't handle sex yet, Moyashi. You've got quite a problem down there."

He didn't pout like I thought he would. Instead, he giggled and nuzzled his cheek into my neck, slowly trailing his fingers down my body. "You're one to talk, Bakanda. You've got to be twice as hard as I am."

"Che. Like you didn't know that attacking me would have that effect."

He snickered. His fingers finally stopped moving when they reached the waistband of my pants. "You know, it's really not fair that you remember that whole night while I can barely recall the morning after. I don't even remember what you look like."

It wasn't until he said those words that I realized he was up to something, but I wasn't going to stop him. If he wanted to start something sexual, then I was going to let him. The memory of that night had been torturing me for months; stopping the Moyashi now would have just been stupid.

The Moyashi's fingers had my pants unbuttoned in a heartbeat. He simultaneously sat up and yanked my pants off my hips. I watched him as he eyed my exposed erection, curious as to what his reaction would be and knowing that it would be entertaining.

He paled and slumped sideways against the back of the couch with a defeated sigh. "You managed to get that inside me? No wonder my ass hurt so bad that I could barely walk."

I snorted in amusement as I began to push myself up into a sitting position. I was planning to change the subject, but the second I started to move, the Moyashi was pushing me back towards the couch. "Moyashi, what-?"

"Shh. Addie's sleeping; you'll wake her if you're too loud." He smirked at me as he placed his hands on my bare hips, keeping me securely pressed into the couch. "If you _ask nicely,_ I'll help you out with your problem..."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "What exactly are you suggesting, Moyashi?"

His smirk only got wider. "One, that wasn't asking nicely, and two, just because my body can't handle sex doesn't mean you have to go without..."

So he actually was suggesting what I thought he was. I didn't exactly want to _ask_ him to jerk me off, but I was incredibly curious as to whether or not this new devious streak of his would hold up. "You're the one who caused my problem, _Aren_. Will you take care of it for me?"

I expected to see him freak out and back off; I could picture how his silver eyes would grow huge with panic. Instead, I was the one caught off guard. As soon as the question was out of my mouth, the Moyashi leaned forward and began pleasuring me orally. I nearly screamed as he ran his tongue down my length, just barely remembering to remain quiet and not wake the baby.

I didn't last as long as I would have liked, but it was a good thing that we finished when we did. As soon as we were cleaned up and my pants were back in place, there was the rattle of keys at the front door, followed by Cross walking inside. He ignored us and went straight upstairs, but if he had come in any earlier, he would have caught us in the act. And that would have been mortifying.

Allen and I stared at each other for a moment, and then he blushed and collapsed against my chest. "Oh god. That was almost awful."

I laughed as I pulled him closer to me. "What brought that on, Moyashi? It was only a few minutes ago that you were too shy to kiss me."

His blush deepened and I could feel the heat of it through my shirt. "I don't know. I just... felt like it."

I wanted to tease him and heat things up again, but the sound of footsteps from upstairs reminded me that we weren't home alone anymore, so I had to tease him in a different way. "Does that mean you're done being hormonal?"

The Moyashi snorted and pushed himself off me. "I'm going to be hormonal until Addie's weaned off my breastmilk, you know that."

He sighed as he leaned over the bassinet. "While we're sort of on the subject, you do know that if things work out between us and we end up sleeping together again, you're not touching me without a condom, right?"

I laughed as I stood, moving behind him and wrapping my arms around him. "What? You don't want to end up with another unplanned baby? I never would have guessed that."

He snorted at my faked surprise. "Joke all you want, Yuu, but I'm serious. We're never having unprotected sex again."

"I know." I kissed the top of his head. "One baby is plenty. As great as Addie is, I have no desire to go through any of this again, and I know you want it even less than I do."

The Moyashi turned in my hold and threw his mismatched arms around my neck. "Thanks for understanding, Yuu."

I kissed him and he didn't pull away, so I kissed him again. We made out like that until someone cleared their throat behind us. The Moyashi jumped at the interruption and pulled away from me, but I just turned and glared at Cross. The redhead snarled at me, still pissed that he hadn't been able to hurt me for abandoning Allen and the baby. "Shouldn't you two be asleep? Don't you have an early morning?"

"Ah! I didn't realize it was that late." The Moyashi immediately snapped out of his embarrassment and began gathering up the few baby items that still needed to be packed. "Hey, Yuu, can you take Addie upstairs for me?"


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Once again, thanks for all the reviews!

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The next morning, I sat in the rocking chair with Adeline in my arms, watching the Moyashi open an ark gate in the middle of the living room. Not long after I had accidentally awoken him during the incident with Alma, the Science Division had found a way to remove the Fourteenth Noah from Allen's body, but the boy still had control over the ark, something that would prove very useful for getting all of the baby's things moved to headquarters that day.

Lavi came bounding through the gate the moment it was opened, with Lenalee following behind him at a more reasonable pace. The Usagi rushed straight to Allen and almost knocked him over with the force of his hug. "So where's the baby?! I can't wait to meet your child!"

I swore internally. The Moyashi's silver eyes got huge at those words and he backed up a couple paces. I knew he was panicking over the same thing I was: our friends weren't supposed to know about the baby yet. "Wh-what are you talking about, Lavi?"

The Usagi just laughed. "Oh come on, Allen-chan! You've been gone for nine months, I know it's because you got pregnant."

The Moyashi was saved from having to answer by Lenalee, who thankfully seemed to have no clue what was happening. "What are you going on about, Lavi? Allen's not a woman."

"No, but he _is_ a parasite-type." Lavi's words both calmed me down and stressed me out further. He didn't know because someone had told him, he knew because he had figured it out.

Lenalee just continued to stare at him. "What does that have to do with this?"

Lavi gave her a weird look, apparently confused by her confusion. "Male parasite-types have female reproductive systems. Did you not know that?"

"No." Lenalee turned to the Moyashi who was looking rather pale. "Did _you_ know about this, Allen-kun?"

He stared at her blankly for a moment before he sighed and gave in. "I didn't know it was possible for me to get pregnant until after I already was."

The color drained quickly from Lenalee's face as she gaped at the Moyashi. "You mean you actually had a baby?"

He nodded once, and Lavi grinned as he threw an arm around his shoulders. "Ha! I was right! So where is it? I want to see how adorable your baby turned out to be!"

Allen frowned as he reluctantly gestured towards Addie, and the other two excitedly turned to see what he was pointing at. They both froze when they saw me though, momentarily forgetting about the baby, even though she was in my arms. The first comment was what I expected it to be, as I had taken to wearing my hair in a low braid to keep it away from Addie's grabby hands, and I knew that a change in my hairstyle would not go unnoticed by our friends. "Whoa, what happened to your hair?"

I couldn't help snarling, but Lenalee spoke before I could swear at the rabbit. "I don't think I've seen you wear it braided like that before, Kanda. Why'd you change it?"

"Che. The brat thinks it's a toy."

Allen laughed at the confused looks the other two gave him; they clearly thought I was talking about him. "Addie loves to play with his hair." He leaned over my shoulder and tickled the baby. "Right, Addie?"

I expected the conversation to shift focus to the baby, but it stayed on me. Lavi narrowed his eye at Allen. "You never told us you were pregnant, but you let _Kanda_ play with the baby?"

The Moyashi shrugged. "I had every intention of telling you about the baby, you just scared me by suddenly bringing it up like that. I wasn't expecting you to already know."

"But why'd you tell _Kanda_ first? And what's he even doing here anyway?"

I knew the Moyashi didn't want to tell them my role in Adeline's conception like this, so I spoke up. "Che. I've been here for the last month. It's kind of impossible for him to have not told me."

Lavi opened his mouth to argue more, but Lenalee covered it with her left hand, effectively shutting him up. She leaned forward and tickled the baby the same way the Moyashi had just done. "So this is your daughter, Allen-kun. She's beautiful."

Allen grinned at the baby. "Yeah, she is. Her name is Adeline Su-"

He was cut off as Lenalee squealed and began babbling in baby talk at Addie. The way she was invading my personal space to do so was annoying, so I wordlessly offered to let her hold the baby. Her eyes gleamed as she took Addie in her arms, and she and Lavi spent several minutes fawning over the baby. "She looks just like you, Allen-kun. She's even got your silver eyes."

The Moyashi giggled at the compliment, but wasn't given a chance to speak. "It's a little weird that she's a redhead though. Did she get that from her father?"

Allen froze at the question. It was obviously Lavi's way of asking who had got him pregnant. We had decided to tell them, but it was clear from the look on the Moyashi's face that he was having second thoughts about that. When he spoke it was forced, and he deliberately avoided looking in my direction. "No, that's the color mine was before it turned white."

Lavi's eye sparkled briefly at that answer. "Then what _did_ she get from her father?"

When Allen didn't respond, Lenalee joined in, though in a much more direct manner than the rabbit. "Oh come on, Allen-kun! You're going to have to tell us who you slept with eventually!"

The Moyashi gave me a look, clearly hoping that I had changed my mind and wouldn't want him to tell them. I hadn't. With a heavy sigh, he took Addie from Lenalee, so that the Chinese woman wouldn't accidentally drop the baby when she heard the news. "Like I was trying to tell you earlier, Addie's full name is Adeline Suzuko Kanda."

Lavi immediately burst out laughing. "Nice try, Bean Sprout, but there's no way that you and Yuu had sex!"

I snarled at the Usagi, but didn't draw Mugen; Addie was too close. "Don't use my first name!"

Lenalee ignored Lavi as he hid behind her, and placed her hands on the Moyashi's shoulders. "Allen-kun, _please_ tell me you're messing with us."

Part of me wanted to be offended by Lenalee's reaction, but I knew that it was disbelief that had her freaked out, not disapproval. Once she got over her shock, she would be overbearingly supportive of us.

"He's not." I had planned to let Allen deal with explaining things to them, but this was taking far too long. "Addie really is my daughter."

The words were met with dead silence. It wasn't surprising, it was incredibly unbelievable news given how the Moyashi and I used to act around each other.

Lenalee found her voice first. She looked from me to Allen and back again, her violet eyes giving away her shock. "You two actually slept together? How did that happen?"

The Moyashi turned redder than he already was. "We were kind of... a little bit... drunk."

I snorted at his attempt to downplay what had happened. "Try 'very drunk'."

My words snapped Lavi out of his shock, and his one green eye burned with such a fierce curiosity that I almost regretted saying anything. "How drunk is 'very drunk'?"

If it was possible, Allen's blush deepened. "...I don't even remember doing it..."

Lavi immediately rounded on me. "You took advantage of Allen-chan while he was _that_ drunk?!"

"Che. No one took advantage of anyone. I was just as drunk as he was." I shoved the redhead away, and took Addie from the Moyashi; we both knew that Mugen would stay sheathed if I was holding her, so he gladly handed her over. "Do you really think he'd let me anywhere near his baby if I had raped him?"

"He's got a point, Lavi." Lenalee laughed briefly, but before I could be thankful that she'd intervened, she turned on me. "But I have a question for you, Kanda... You've only been here for a month; did it really take you his whole pregnancy to decide to take responsibility for your kid?"

Her disapproving tone really bothered me. "Che. I took responsibility the day I found out. _He's_ the idiot who ran off without telling me he was pregnant."

As I expected, they immediately turned on Allen with that news. Lenalee practically shrieked at him. "What?! You didn't tell him?! Weren't you pissed at him for knocking you up?"

The Moyashi sighed and stepped away from the upset Chinese woman. "Not really. It's not like either of us knew that I could get pregnant. And like he said, we were both very drunk that night. It was clearly an accident, so there was no reason to be mad at him."

His explanation calmed Lenalee down, but it seemed to just confuse Lavi. "But you two hate each other. Are you really saying that you didn't hate him more over this?"

Allen sighed again and shook his head. "I really only hated him around the time I started to show, especially around the first time that I couldn't button my pants because my belly was in the way. That was when I realized that I was ruining my body for _his_ child, and I wanted to hurt him so badly for that."

He smiled sheepishly at me, embarrassed over telling me this for the first time in front of our friends. "But all that changed when I felt the baby kick for the first time. The physical changes to my body didn't matter after that. I had a brand new life growing inside me, and that was so amazing that I no longer cared how it happened."

Lenalee and Lavi shared a look, and it was clear that they didn't believe the Moyashi. He smiled at me and then followed through on his decision from the night before. "And for the record: we don't hate each other. We're dating."

The way their eyes went wide almost made me laugh. But then Lavi decided that the Moyashi was joking and laughed it off. "Good one, Bean Sprout. You almost got me with that. But even if he is the father of your child, there's no way you got _that guy_ to agree to go out with you."

"You've got it backwards, Usagi." I didn't particularly want to set him straight, but if the Moyashi was willing to admit to something as embarrassing as giving birth to my baby, it was only fair that I do the same. " _I_ asked _him_ out."

Like with the Moyashi, Lavi didn't believe me, and he started laughing again. Allen and I shared a look, and then, to my surprise, he leaned over and kissed me.

The Usagi's laughter immediately died in his throat. Lenalee stared at us like her eyes were going to pop out of her head, but only for a moment. "Clearly I'm missing something. You two got drunk and slept together, which led to Allen-kun getting pregnant. You ran off without telling Kanda, but despite that, he found out, and you've been raising the baby together for the last month? And on top of all that, you're a couple? That doesn't add up. What is it I'm missing?"

The Moyashi and I shared another look, silently debating which of us had to answer her question. I sighed and looked down at the baby in my arms. "I didn't come here because I found out about the pregnancy. I came for a different reason, only to find him in labor with my child."

Lenalee narrowed her eyes at me. "And that didn't freak you out?"

I shrugged. "No."

Allen snorted and flicked my ear. "Well it freaked _me_ out. Instead of getting upset like a _normal_ person, he decided that the middle of my labor was the right moment to tell me that he had fallen in love with me."

"Hey! You were trying to kick me out! How else was I supposed to tell you that I wanted to stay?"

He snorted again. "Maybe by saying you wanted to stay?"

My retort was cut off by laughter coming from the open ark gate. I inwardly cringed at the sound; at least being stuck with Allen and the baby for the last month meant that I hadn't had to deal with any of the idiot Supervisor's antics. "I see you two still don't get along, Allen-kun, Kanda-kun."

Allen smiled and accepted the Chinese man's hug. "It's good to see you again, Komui-san."

"You look a lot better than the last time I saw you, Allen-kun."

The Moyashi's laughter was dark and sent a chill down my spine. "That's probably because the last time I saw you, you were trying to convince me to abort my baby."

Komui's laughter turned nervous. He backed away from Allen and clapped his hands together. "Ah, yes, the baby. Where is little Addie-chan?"

He was suddenly in my personal space, looking over Addie. It was very uncomfortable, especially when the baby talk started. "Hello Miss Adeline Walker. I-"

"Kanda." Allen's correction was loud and forceful. But Komui didn't get that it was a correction, and instead turned his focus on me. I glowered at the Supervisor while the Moyashi clarified. "Her last name isn't Walker, it's Kanda."

As expected, Komui looked me up and down with that glint in his eye that meant he was up to something. I snarled at him and tried to back away, but didn't get anywhere because of the chair I was in. "Yes. She really is my daughter."

The way Komui looked at me scared me to the core, and what he said next made that feeling even worse. "But that shouldn't be possible."

My blood ran cold. He wasn't talking about the impossibility of me sleeping with Allen; he was referring to my physical ability to get someone pregnant. I briefly wondered if the Moyashi had lied to me, but a quick glance at Allen revealed that his silver eyes were wide with horror. That look not only confirmed that I truly was the only person he'd slept with, it also told me that he knew that Komui was talking about the Second Exorcist Project.

Not sensing the tense atmosphere, Lavi laughed. "I know it's hard to process that they slept together, but do you have to be that dramatic, Komui?"

Forcing myself to remain calm, I scowled at the rabbit. I didn't want to explain this, but if I did the explaining then it would get told the way I wanted it to. "The Order experimented on me when I was a child, Usagi. He's freaked out because the records say I'm sterile."

Everything was dead silent for a moment before Allen forcibly changed the subject. "We've wasted enough time sitting here. Let's start moving things."

While Lenalee, Lavi, and Allen began taking boxes through the ark, I took Addie and followed Komui to the infirmary. The plan had always been for the Supervisor to give the baby her first medical exam while the rest of us moved her things, but given that new development, it seemed like a good idea to go with them. While I didn't particularly want to let Komui do tests on me, I needed answers.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Your reviews were quite unexpected. I thought it was rather obvious that Kanda isn't actually sterile, and I didn't think you'd get hung up on that like you did. I kinda feel bad for ending the last chapter there now. Oh well, I guess that means you'll all understand how Allen's feeling at the start of this chapter...

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I sat anxiously on the edge of the bed in my new bedroom, clutching the blankets so hard that my knuckles were white. We had finished moving everything, and Lenalee had stayed and helped me unpack and arrange the nursery. She and Lavi had questioned me incessantly about my pregnancy and my relationship with Kanda while we worked; the subject of the experiments done on Kanda was carefully avoided, only brought up once when Lenalee asked whether or not I had already known about them. But now everything was done and there was nothing to distract me from the fact that Addie and Kanda were still with Komui.

Butterflies swarmed in my stomach whenever I thought about what Komui had said. Kanda was the only person I had ever had sex with. _If he's sterile, then how had I gotten pregnant? Who is Adeline's real father? Will Kanda still want me if it turns out that Addie isn't his daughter? Will he-?_ No. I couldn't think like that. Kanda was Addie's biological father. I was sure of it. Komui had to be wrong.

I wanted to go down to the infirmary and find my boyfriend and child, but some instinct told me that it was better to wait where I was. I would just be in the way of whatever tests Komui was doing.

I don't know how long I sat there with my nerves going crazy, but then I heard a very familiar crying coming from the hallway. _Addie_. I flew through the lounge and yanked open the door just as Kanda arrived at my room. He stopped his attempts to soothe the fussy baby and instead gave her to me. "Addie did not like Komui."

I laughed lightly as I calmed Addie by letting her suck on my pinkie. "Not surprising. I didn't like Komui after my first exam either."

Kanda didn't join in with my laughter, and that put me on edge. Even more on edge than I already was. "What happened?"

He sighed heavily as he stepped past me into the room and sat down on the couch. Sensing that he wanted to talk in private, I closed and locked the door before I joined him. Kanda sighed again as he leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling. "Where should I start?"

I let the rhetorical question go unanswered. He sighed again. "Well, to put your mind at ease, Addie is definitely my daughter."

I breathed a huge sigh of relief at hearing that. It was a little ironic that that was good news now, while the idea of Kanda fathering my baby had stressed me out for a good chunk of my pregnancy.

Kanda ignored my reaction and kept talking. "Komui did some sort of genetic test that proved it, but it was moot by the time we got the results. Addie- she-"

 _Oh god. Is Kanda_ _ **crying**_ _?_ There were a couple stray tears running down his face, but then I blinked and he had composed himself. But I hadn't imagined it. Whatever had happened was so bad that it made Kanda express fear. And that scared me to the core. "Yuu? What happened? What's wrong with Addie? Is there something wrong with her Innocence?"

Kanda gave me a confused look for a moment before he understood. "Nothing's wrong, at least not in the sense that you're thinking of. She's perfectly healthy and exactly where she should be developmentally. Her Innocence is just fine too; it's not harming her in any way."

While that was good to hear, it didn't ease my panic. "Then why are you so freaked out?"

He sighed again and went back to staring at the ceiling. "... She inherited everything from the Second Exorcist Project. The strength, the accelerated healing, everything."

I was stunned speechless. It took some time to process my thoughts on that. My daughter was going to be as indestructible as her father was. I could see why Kanda thought it was a bad thing, I had seen his memories of the project after all, but from my perspective, it was good.

Moving from beside Kanda, I placed Addie in her bassinet and then positioned myself on Kanda's lap. I had figured out recently that contrary to what I expected, Kanda actually liked physical contact, and while I was still unsure of letting him touch me, this was the easiest way to get him to calm down. "Those things you're worrying about happening to Addie are things I've been worrying about since I learned I was pregnant. The possibility that the Order will experiment on her has always been there. Addie inheriting those things from you doesn't make that any more likely than it already was. If anything, it'll help me worry less. She won't get sick and she'll recover from any injuries she may get."

Kanda wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. I unconsciously stiffened at the contact, and I had to remind myself that Kanda was my boyfriend now and he wasn't going to hurt me. Kanda buried his face in my neck, and I could feel how distraught he was. "Moyashi. No, _Allen_ , how can you be so accepting of this? Shouldn't you be pissed at me? I ruined your daughter."

 _He thinks he ruined Addie?_ Even now that we were dating, I still couldn't hope to understand Kanda. "You didn't ruin her, Yuu. This doesn't change who she is. Besides, I've known for years that your body is artificial, and that doesn't make me love you any less, so why would learning that Addie takes after you make me love _her_ less?"

"You ... love me?" Kanda's words were hesitant and they caught me off guard.

I froze as I realized that I had let something slip that I wasn't ready to say out loud. "Not like that! I meant it like I do with Lenalee and Lavi! That's all!"

My attempt to backtrack did not convince Kanda, and he tightened his arms before I could escape. "No. You meant it the same way I do when I say it to you."

I blushed and tried to deny it, but Kanda's lips on mine prevented any words from coming out. Despite my mind screaming at me to resist, I melted into the kiss, and that was game over. By giving into the kiss I was telling Kanda that he was right. And while he _was_ right, I didn't want to admit to it. I wasn't ready for Kanda to know that he had succeeded at getting me to fall in love with him so quickly.

By the time we broke apart for air, his earlier distress was gone. That's when I realized that it was losing me that he had been afraid of. He could relax now that he knew I wanted him to stay. His fingers brushed through my hair and he kissed me once more. "What changed?"

I blushed and tried to move away, but Kanda's hold on me was strong. "I don't want to tell you. It's too embarrassing."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "More embarrassing than telling Lenalee and Lavi that you gave birth to my baby?"

"Yes." I pouted at him, but that didn't make his curiosity fade. "Fine. I'll tell you. But you have to promise that you won't tease me for being a girl."

Kanda laughed and kissed me. "I promise."

I sighed and placed my head against his chest so that I wouldn't have to see his face. "... While I was making the bed earlier, I was imagining what it would be like to spend our wedding night in it. And that got me thinking about having a wedding, and how it would feel to stand up in front of our friends and be bound to each other forever. And that's when I realized that I had fallen for you."

I braced myself for laughter, but it never came. Instead, Kanda's fingers wound into my hair as he guided me into looking at him. There was no teasing, yet the completely sincere words still made my heart stop. "Will you marry me, Allen?"

My eyes went wide with panic and shock. I could not believe that Kanda had actually said those words. "What?! No! We've only been dating for a month! It's way too soon!"

My rejection clearly confused Kanda; he blinked several times before he argued back. "Too soon? We've known each other for almost four years, Moyashi."

I sighed sharply, trying and failing to keep my voice level. "And we spent most of that time trying to kill each other! We haven't even had sex yet!"

"We have had sex; you just don't remember it." That argument was expected, but the one that followed it was not. Neither was how calm and rational he was being. "And I hate to break it to you, but, technically, we had sex last night, Moyashi. And you initiated it."

Kanda paused to let me argue with him, but I was too stunned to speak, so he continued. "I don't see what the problem is. It can't be that you don't want to get married, you've already admitted to planning our wedding. We love each other, we have a baby, and we live together. What's the problem?"

I pushed myself off his lap. It was irritating how level headed he was being and that just made me more upset. "I just told you: it's too soon! I need more time. And since when do we live together?"

Kanda didn't move from his seat, he just raised an eyebrow at me. "We've shared a bedroom for the last three weeks, Moyashi. That's living together. Are you saying that you _don't_ want me to move in here with you and Addie? Is that why you're surprised?"

"No!" His question killed my near hysterics in an instant. It was scary that he just assumed that I wanted him to move in, but then again, I hadn't asked because I had assumed he would say no. "I want that, I just... I didn't think you would want to. I thought you'd want to go back to your own bed."

"My bed is whichever bed you are in, Allen." He stood up and wrapped his arms around my waist as he spoke. I was stunned by the words; I was so used to the self-centered side of Kanda from the past four years that hearing him choose me over his routine was completely unexpected.

We stayed like that for a moment as the tension from our fight dissipated. When Kanda spoke, his voice was soothing. "If you need time, I'm willing to give it to you. But can you at least give me an idea of how long I'm going to have to wait before I can propose to you again?"

The question made me think, there were so many different ways that I could answer it. But as I recalled how angry I'd been just minutes earlier, I knew what the right one was. "... I need you to wait until after Addie has been weaned. I want to be completely free of pregnancy hormones when you propose to me for real. I don't want to risk going off on you because I'm hormonal when it happens."

That made Kanda laugh. "If I have to wait until you're not hormonal then I may never get to propose to you, Moyashi."

I stuck my tongue out at him as I tugged on his braid. But before I could yell at him for teasing me, he had pulled me into a deep kiss. We probably could have stayed like that for hours, but we had to break apart when Adeline got fussy.

I leaned over the bassinet, and one look at Addie's scrunched up face told me exactly what she needed. I carefully lifted her out of the bassinet and took her over to the couch. It took a moment to get situated comfortably on the unfamiliar piece of furniture, which felt like forever with my baby crying, but once I was settled, I unbuttoned my shirt, and Addie's tears ceased as she latched on.

While I nursed our daughter, Kanda sat beside me and watched in silence for a bit. When he spoke again I was expecting more teasing, but he was back to treating the situation with seriousness. "You want me to wait until after Addie is weaned, I can do that. That's only like four or five months from now, I can wait that long. And since that's probably when your maternity leave will end, which will make timing a proposal difficult, let's just go with six months to be on the safe side. Does that work, Moyashi?"

I wasn't really sure that that would be enough time, but I was tired of this conversation, so I agreed. "Yes."

Kanda's hand on my chin made me move my gaze from watching Adeline nurse to staring into his cobalt eyes. "There's just one thing I need from you before I agree to this. You've told me that you've fallen for me, but I need you to say the words. I need you to say that you love me."

I blinked at Kanda and turned my head away, slightly surprised that he let me break the stare. I wasn't ready to do this. "I don't see why I have to say them if you already know that I feel that way..."

"Why not? Aren't you the one who will say anything if it's what people want to hear? Well, I want to hear them." His tone was derisive and he smirked when I stuck my tongue out at him, but then the look softened. He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. "Please, Allen? I love you. I just want to hear you say it back."

I had to pull away because Addie had finished eating, giving me time to think as I burped her and checked her diaper. I had heard Kanda say the word 'please' sincerely before, but only to Jerry and Marie. I didn't know what to make of him saying it to me like that. But if I put myself in his shoes, I knew what I had to do. Kanda had told me he loves me countless times over the last month, without me saying it back or even returning his feelings. It was only fair that I actually say it now that I did feel that way about him.

After I finished rewrapping Addie in her blanket, I moved so that I was sitting on Kanda's lap. He raised an eyebrow at me, curious over what I was doing, but he remained silent, and instead of protesting, he wrapped his arms around mine as if to help me support the baby. I sighed and leaned back against his chest. "We've been through a lot these past few years, haven't we, Yuu? The ark, headquarters getting attacked, that thing with Alma... And now we have a baby together. I never thought we would end up like this. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love you, Yuu."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Thanks for all the lovely reviews. You guys are awesome!

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I was given two more weeks off missions so that I could help Allen adjust to life at headquarters with a baby. Everything was basically the same as the previous month had been, only this time instead of having Cross hovering over my shoulder and questioning my every move, I had to deal with people fawning over Addie and questioning my relationship with the Moyashi.

It was annoying having to repeatedly explain to everyone that Allen's baby really was mine, and their unsolicited baby advice was even worse. While I knew that some of the finders actually had children of their own, it seemed to me like not a single one of them knew what they were talking about. I may not have known a thing about babies before Addie came along, but the Moyashi and I were her parents and we knew what was best for her.

Ironically, it wasn't my temper that shut the busybodies up; it was Allen's black side. One, apparently suicidal, female finder tried to correct his breastfeeding technique, but she caught him while he was hormonal, and he flipped out on her, almost sending her to the infirmary. It didn't completely stop everyone from trying to give us advice, but it certainly made them hesitate before doing so.

We also had to endure some teasing over the two of us dating, but all anyone cared about was that we used to hate each other. The fact that our relationship was homosexual was ignored. We weren't the only gay couple at the Order, and there were several openly gay finders who had joined the Order for the sole reason that it was a place where they would be accepted.

In fact, when we finally got Lavi to tell us how he had figured out that Allen was pregnant, we learned that the Order had intentionally opened its doors to homosexuals. Because male parasite-types are able to bear children, the majority of them are gay, so the Order decided to accept all homosexuals in order to make them feel welcome. Prior to Allen's pregnancy, all of the male parasite-types in the last twenty years were straight, and so the information fell out of public knowledge.

Allen didn't take that news particularly well. Despite his love for Addie, he was still rather pissed that no one had ever told him that he could get pregnant. It almost upset him more to learn that he wasn't told simply because people had incorrectly assumed that he was straight. He immediately dropped the issue though, when I pointed out to him that if we _had_ known beforehand, the rest of us would have teased him incessantly about it.

There were no repeats of the oral sex from our final night in Nice during those two weeks, but the Moyashi did finally let me jerk him off, and that was almost better; he was loosening up. We made out on the couch in our room almost daily, once forgetting to lock the door and nearly giving Miranda a heart attack. None of it was what I wanted most from the boy, but I knew it was the most he was comfortable with giving me, so I didn't force the issue. Especially not now that he was saying "I love you" back to me.

Everything was going great, until General Teidoll showed up.

My former teacher was always overbearing when it came to family things, and if there was one thing that would send him completely over the edge, and make him even more of a pain in my ass, it would be finding out that I had a child. The memory of how he had acted at Marie's wedding was still painfully fresh in my memory, and I didn't want that to happen to me. Ever.

But there he was, walking into the cafeteria, while I was sitting with Addie. Unfortunately, Allen was off having some much needed alone time, and I was by myself. There wasn't even another exorcist around for me to use as a distraction so that I could escape. I held as still as possible, hoping he wouldn't see me, but it was futile. Teidoll headed straight towards me. "Good Morning, Yuu-kun!"

I clicked my tongue and pretended like I hadn't heard him, but instead of taking the hint, he continued to come closer. The old man's eyes lit up with excitement as he caught sight of the blankets in my arms. When he was close enough, he leaned over the sleeping baby and stroked her cheek. "And who is this beautiful little one?"

I bit back my gut reaction to push him away. He would find out who she was eventually, and I knew that his reaction would be much, much worse if he heard it from someone other than myself. "This is Addie. She's your granddaughter."

From the blank look on his face, he clearly didn't get it. I decided not to say anything more, curious as to what conclusion the old artist would reach, though I would come to regret that decision almost immediately. The frizzy haired man continued to look over Addie, gently tracing her features with his fingers as if she was a work of art. When he finally spoke, his voice was barely audible over the cafeteria noise. "Why didn't Marie or Miranda say anything to me about having a daughter?"

"Che." I was mildly offended; of everyone I knew, I thought Teidoll would be the one to understand that Addie was my daughter. "She's not theirs, she's _mine_."

The shocked look Teidoll gave me would have been priceless if it wasn't immediately followed by him bursting into tears and trapping me in a bear hug. "You met a girl?! I'm so happy for you!"

Unable to shove him off me without risking hurting the baby, I could do nothing but sit there as he babbled on like that for the next ten minutes. It was the expected nonsense: a mixture of amazement over me having a baby and offense that he wasn't invited to my wedding. I didn't want to correct him, but I knew I had to, so when the old artist finally paused for breath, I interrupted. "Let me stop you there. The only girl in this story is Addie. And I'm not married _or_ engaged, so you can drop that too."

The words worked like magic, making Teidoll break the hug and back away from me. He looked more confused than I had ever seen him before. _Why did I promise the Moyashi that I wouldn't swear around the baby?_

The old artist adjusted his glasses as he tried to make sense of what was happening. "So then, she's adopted?"

"Che. Like I'd willingly take responsibility for a baby that wasn't related to me." The sarcasm was a gut reaction, but Teidoll had always brought out that side of me.

Knowing that the game of twenty questions he would start would be even more painful than my attempt at an explanation, I sighed heavily and spoke before Teidoll could chide me for my attitude, like his expression said he was about to do. "Before you freak out, you should know that I'm gay. Addie's mother is male."

When he said nothing and just stared blankly at me, I continued to explain. "I don't know if you already know this or not, but male parasite-type accommodators are capable of bearing children. The-"

"You slept with a fellow exorcist?!" I felt like cursing again. Of course _that_ would be the detail that Teidoll fixated on. His next words just made that feeling worse. "Which one?"

The glint in his eye told me that there was no escape from answering the question. It wasn't that I didn't want to say it out loud, it was that I didn't want to say it to Teidoll; he was going to be obnoxious about it. "Allen Walker."

The old man was silent for a moment, and when he finally spoke, his tone was disappointed, like he believed that I had done something unspeakably horrible. "Oh, Yuu... Please tell me you didn't rape that poor boy."

 _Why does_ _ **everyone**_ _think that?!_ Unable to hold it in any longer, I let out a stream of curse words.

"Yuu! Language!" The chiding was almost expected; ever since I had made that idiotic promise, Allen always seemed to show up just in time to catch me breaking it. "You promised not to swear around the baby!"

He paused as he approached in order to smile at Teidoll, but I spoke over their greetings. "Che. It was either that or risk dropping her so that I could hit the old man. I figured this was safer."

Allen sighed heavily. "Yuuu... We've been over this. Be nice."

I glared at Teidoll, who just seemed confused by our interaction. "Che. He asked if I raped you. It was necessary."

The Moyashi froze in the middle of kissing Addie's forehead. I kind of felt like I was setting a bomb off on Teidoll: Allen hated that question even more than I did. But to my surprise, the boy actually managed to contain his temper, though it looked like he was having a hard time. "You really should let that go, Yuu. But then again, I'm no better than you are. It pisses me off that everyone thinks I would have just let it happen. If you really had raped me, you wouldn't have left that room alive."

I snorted. If he was trying to scare me, it wasn't necessary. "You once nearly ripped me to shreds when I _had_ permission to touch you. I'd hate to see what you'd do to anyone who touched you _without_ your permission."

The Moyashi laughed at my comment, but it died in his throat when Teidoll placed a hand on the teen's shoulder. Allen forced a smile at the look on the old man's face. I would have let him stew a little longer, but the Moyashi chose to explain. "I don't know what exactly Yuu has told you, General, but it's all true. I am Adeline's mother, and Yuu is her father. And as you've probably figured out by now, he and I are dating."

Teidoll spent the next two hours making us tell him the whole story, from start to finish. He asked a million questions, needing clarification on everything. And when it was done, he burst into tears again.

Eventually he calmed down and left, but that didn't make me feel better. One look at Allen, and it was clear he felt the same way I did. He slumped against my shoulder with a heavy sigh. "He's going to try to spoil our baby, isn't he?"

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After six and a half weeks of my life being turned completely upside down by my sudden and unexpected fatherhood, I was ready for a mission. I loved my new family deeply, but I was ready for things to go back to normal. I needed my life to not revolve around a screaming, helpless infant for a few days. I wanted to be able to sleep through the night. This mission was going to be my chance to pretend that my life hadn't changed.

What I hadn't realized yet was that _I_ had changed. Instead of being a vacation from the chaos my life had become, from the moment it started I just wanted the mission to be over so that I could go home to my family.

I had always strived to get better and stronger, yet I had given little thought to my own life before, taking unnecessary injuries because my body could heal any wound. But now... Well, now I needed every remaining scrap of my life force for being there for my daughter as she grew up.

There was also a growing pit in my stomach. Every akuma I saw on that mission reminded me that Addie had a parasitic Innocence. That awful battlefield was my daughter's future. I wanted better for her, but this was something I couldn't change. And I hated that. The only thing I could do was take out the akuma in my path, and make sure that I returned home alive.

My overdramatic thoughts were made even worse by a lack of sleep. As obnoxious as he was with his constant need to snuggle against me, I could no longer sleep without my Moyashi beside me.

We finished our already short mission three days ahead of schedule. I didn't think anything of it. I was so focused on finishing as quickly as possible that I barely even noticed that Lenalee was there the whole time. At least, not until we were on the train home and she got in my face. "You've been awfully quiet, Kanda. What's wrong?"

"Che. Nothing's wrong."

I scowled and backed away from her, but she wasn't giving up. "Oh, please! You haven't said more than three words in a row this entire mission. That has to be some kind of record for you!"

It was almost amusing watching her freak out, but she knew me too well, and that was making her rant uncomfortable. "You've been laser focused towards the mission and incredibly distracted with everything else. And on top of that, you never once complained about the lack of soba. You even ate an _apple_ at breakfast this morning!"

I blinked at her, not understanding why that was important. "So?"

She gave me a look that asked if my brain had stopped working. "You hate sweet things, and I've never once seen you eat breakfast in the twelve years that I've known you."

The breakfast thing was true, I hadn't started eating breakfast until I began living with Allen; but I wasn't going to tell her that. "Che. First of all, apples are a fruit, and fruit is good for you. And second, what's your point?"

"Something has been on your mind lately and I want you to tell me what it is."

I raised an eyebrow at the Chinese woman. _And she thinks_ I'm _the idiot?_

When I didn't respond, Lenalee continued her rant. "Come on, Kanda! It's no secret that you like longer missions. Yet you hurried through this one and finished it in half the expected time. What's so important that you have to rush back home-? _Oh_ _!_ "

Her confused look faded as she finally put it together, but it came back almost as quickly as it disappeared. "Wait. You mean that you've been taking care of the baby because you _want_ to? I thought you were acting on my brother's orders."

"Che. How many times am I going to have to explain this to you people? Addie is my daughter."

Lenalee floundered for a moment, but when she finally found words, her question was unexpected. "...Then why aren't you and Allen married?"

I sighed and turned to stare out the window. "I'm not allowed to propose again until he's no longer nursing Addie. He doesn't want there to be any pregnancy hormones clouding his judgment when he makes that decision."

The words shut her up completely, allowing me to finally return to my own thoughts. She didn't say another word for the rest of the trip to headquarters, and when we arrived, she disappeared immediately, leaving me to turn in our mission report by myself.

Komui was uncharacteristically wide awake when I arrived at his office. "Welcome home, Kanda-kun! You're back early! Did something happen?"

I rolled my eyes and dropped the mission report on his desk. "Che. Lenalee's taking the Innocence to Hevlaska. I'm going to go find the Moyashi."

I turned to leave the room, but stopped as Komui grabbed my shoulder. When I looked back at him, he was wearing that same confused expression that his sister had given me on the train. "Kanda-"

Not wanting to get asked the same things all over again, I quickly interrupted him. "Komui, I've been away from my family for four days. You of all people should understand what I'm going through."

He pulled his hand off my shoulder immediately. "Of course. Go."

I stalked quickly upstairs, hoping that Allen would be in our room so that I wouldn't have to waste time looking for him. The door was unlocked, which usually meant he was there, but it could also mean that the Moyashi, in his hormonal and sleep-deprived state, had simply forgotten to lock it.

When I turned around after closing the door, the sight that greeted me was gorgeous. Allen stood in the nursery doorway, his unruly white hair in its usual state of disorder, holding Addie in his arms. He looked completely exhausted, but that changed when he saw me. His silver eyes lit up as he smiled. "Yuu! You're home early!"

"Yes, I am, Moyashi. I missed you and Addie. I couldn't stay away any longer." I laughed as I crossed the lounge to reach him. Still shy, he didn't move to meet me, but he melted into the kiss I gave him.

It felt so good to have him in my arms again; those four days felt like forever, and I didn't want to let go. But a sharp tug on my hair made me break our kiss. I knew exactly who the culprit was, but I had missed her too and couldn't be too mad at her.

I looked down and gave Addie a mock glare. To my surprise, she smiled brightly back at me. It was the first time I had seen her smile, and it was beautiful.

"See? I told you she likes you better than me." The Moyashi's words were full of laughter as he handed Addie over to me. "She gave you her first smile."


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! In case it's not clear, there's a time skip in this chapter; it's been roughly four months since Kanda's mission in the previous chapter.

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"You don't have to be with Kanda just because he fathered your baby."

It was by far the most annoying thing I heard from the people at headquarters. Every finder must have said it to me at least once in my first month back. But the thing that made it most frustrating was that those closest to me all said it too. Apparently I was the type to "get hung up on tradition", and therefore they assumed that my relationship with Yuu was based on me feeling like I had no choice but to be with the man who had knocked me up.

I heard it first from Lenalee, when she was helping me set up the nursery. I heard it next from Komui, later that day when I asked for a key to my new room for Yuu. Then it was Lavi; I flinched when I dropped my fork in my lap at dinner that night, but it happened right as Yuu kissed me, so it looked like I was shying away from him. I even heard it from Marie, but unlike the others, he was just as concerned about Yuu's feelings as he was mine.

Suddenly I was glad that Yuu had dragged that confession out of me. Being able to tell people that I was in love with him made them change the subject immediately.

It never truly went away though. It came back up every time Yuu left on a mission. Everyone read my depression over my boyfriend's absence as something else. And for the next three days, on top of my loneliness and my exhaustion from having to take care of Addie without Yuu's help, I would have to put up with everyone telling me that no one would think less of me if I broke up with Yuu.

Lenalee was by far the most annoying with it. Not only did she say it more than anyone else, but she was supposed to know better. She was my best friend and I was dating a guy she thought of as a brother. I put up with four months of her constantly saying that stupidest thing before I finally learned that she knew all along that I had rejected Yuu's first proposal. She was saying it to test my resolve. After she finally dropped it, she would get on my case about absolutely everything to do with my relationship.

She even went so far as to ask, "What's he like in the bedroom?"

"Lena!" It was a good thing I was sitting down. The question startled me so much that I dropped Addie, and if I wasn't sitting then she'd have fallen a lot farther than just a few inches.

I pointedly ignored Lenalee while I checked to make sure that my baby was ok. Addie was fine, she didn't even get fussy, but that didn't stop me from glaring daggers at Lenalee. The Chinese woman slid away from me and quickly threw up her hands in surrender. "I just wanted to make sure that he's not using you for sex, that's all!"

The statement was so ridiculous that it placated me immediately. I snorted. "If he is, he's doing a bad job of it. We haven't had sex yet."

My mouth snapped shut the second I realized what I had just let slip. Lenalee gave me a traumatized look before she sighed. "Damn. I owe Lavi five bucks now. I can't believe he was right about Kanda being asexual."

I was completely offended by what she had just said. Our friends were betting on Yuu's sexual orientation. "Lena! Yuu is not asexual!"

She narrowed her eyes and looked as if she was going to hit me. "Allen, you've been together for almost six months and haven't had sex yet. How else can you explain that?"

I scowled at her, but she didn't back off and I ended up caving first. I looked down at Addie with a sigh. "We haven't had sex because of me. I'm just not ready for that yet."

The words earned me a slap to the back of the head. I spent the next twenty minutes listening to Lenalee explain to me why I was being an idiot for not having sex with my boyfriend. It was very uncomfortable.

.x.x.

My first mission after my maternity leave ended was a nightmare; I couldn't stop worrying about Addie, leaving her behind was awful. The only thing that kept me calm was knowing that she was in her father's care. It nearly gave me a heart attack when I got home and found out that Yuu had had to leave on a mission. Addie had spent the last fourteen hours with the only exorcist at headquarters: _Miranda_. To my surprise, the normally high-strung German woman was actually a fantastic baby sitter. It was quite a relief to know that my daughter had been in good hands. The others would argue that they were better hands than my boyfriend's were, but I did not agree with that in the slightest. Yuu would always be the only one I truly trusted with my child.

.x.x.

My mission took far too long. Two weeks away from my boyfriend and our daughter was too long. Hell, my usual three day missions were too long; this was just torture. I wanted to give Komui an earful when I arrived back at headquarters, but he apologized before I got a single word out. It was dissatisfying not being able to let my frustrations out, but at least the Supervisor realized he had made a mistake.

I stopped in the training hall before going to find Allen, letting the training dummies receive my anger so that I wouldn't accidentally take it out on him. If I lost my temper at him for something he didn't do, all my patience would be for nothing. It had been three months since he had physically recovered enough to have sex, but he was still too skittish to let me touch him like that, and I didn't want to risk scaring him off. So even though it further delayed our reunion, I made sure that I had blown off enough steam before I left the training hall.

I made my way to our room and hurriedly unlocked the door. "I'm home, Moyashi!"

Silence was my only answer. It was dinner time though, so the Moyashi was probably still stuffing his face in the cafeteria. I made my way through the lounge to the bedroom, intending to clean up a little before I went to join him.

I placed my suitcase beside the dresser, and as I leaned Mugen against the bedside table, I was wrapped in a hug from behind. I knew that embrace well, though it was still odd for Allen to be so forward. "Welcome home, Yuu. I missed you."

I pulled his arms away so that I could turn around and kiss him. "I missed you too, Allen."

He smiled brightly at me, like he always did when I used his real name, but then it faded to something nervous. "I got you something."

I raised an eyebrow at him, curious as to what he could be talking about. "Oh?"

The Moyashi blushed a beautiful shade of pink. "Yeah. It's our six month anniversary."

"It is?"

He laughed at my ignorance, but it was clear from the way he nodded that he was still nervous. "Our daughter is six months old today."

Before I could apologize for not figuring out that he would want to celebrate, he stood on tiptoe and kissed me. "Don't worry, Yuu, I didn't expect you to know. I do, however, expect you to participate in everything I have planned. And I expect you to do it with a smile."

I scowled at the devious smirk he gave me. "What are you up to, Moyashi?"

My suspicion made him laugh, but what he said next just made me more suspicious of him. "Lenalee is babysitting Addie tonight. We have the whole night to ourselves."

While he spoke, he backed away and fished something out of his dresser. When he turned back around, his hands were behind his back. "Now, I got you something special, but before I give it to you, you have to promise you'll tell me how much you like it."

"And if I don't like it?"

Allen laughed. "Then say so. But if you don't like it, we might have a problem..."

I raised an eyebrow at him, but he didn't explain. Instead, he just stared expectantly at me. "Fine. I promise to tell you what I think of it."

He broke out into a grin that made me nervous. "I didn't get the chance to wrap it, so you have to close your eyes and hold out your hands, ok?"

"Moyashi..." I growled at him, but he only laughed more.

"Just do it, Bakanda."

After staring at him for a moment, my curiosity won out. I needed to know what had Allen acting so weird. So I closed my eyes and held out my hands.

I felt Allen wave his hand in front of my eyes, making sure that they were truly closed, and then he was placing something in my right hand. The object wasn't very big and it weighed almost nothing; my first guess was that it was a note of some kind.

At the Moyashi's bidding, I opened my eyes. I looked down at the object in my hand and it took a second to realize what it was. Allen had given me a condom.

I snapped my gaze back to the Moyashi to find him nervously chewing on his bottom lip. He forced a smile at me. "Well? Do you like it?"

I knew exactly what the condom meant without having to ask him, but his nervousness kept me from jumping him on the spot, which I desperately wanted to do. "Are you sure about this?"

His eyes filled with tears as his smile fell, and I knew he had misunderstood my question. I quickly pulled him close and kissed him. "I love the gift, Moyashi. But do you really want to go through with this? We don't have to do it just because it's our anniversary."

"I know." He gave me a genuine smile and returned my kiss. "We've waited long enough. I'm ready."

Those two words were music to my ears. I had been waiting to hear them for three months, and been waiting even longer to finally get to have sex with Allen again.

I tried to kiss him, but he pulled away almost immediately. "Moyashiiii..."

He smirked over his shoulder at me as he turned back towards his dresser and rifled through the open drawer. "Sorry. I forgot..., but I also have ... this."

Allen grinned triumphantly at finding what he was looking for. Then he pulled a glass bottle filled with oil from the drawer. The Moyashi really had thought of everything if he had prepared a lubricant. His smile faltered as he offered it to me. "One of the finders gave it to me back when we first returned to headquarters. I only sort of understand what it's for, but he said it would make this hurt less."

I gently pulled the bottle from Allen's hand and placed it on the bedside table. Turning back to the boy, I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him against my chest. "Allen. If you're not completely comf-"

He cut me off with a kiss. "I'm just nervous, Yuu. That's all. It's my first time."

I was caught slightly off guard when he ground our hips together. He wasn't very hard yet, but he was getting there. The feeling of him against me made my pants grow tighter, and the way he whispered in my ear was almost too much to handle. "See? I want this. Take me, Yuu."

My exorcist jacket was on the floor in an instant, the Moyashi's oversized cardigan quickly following it. I pulled him into a deep kiss as I undid the buttons of his shirt, and while our tongues danced, his fingers went straight to my waistband. With a growl, I shoved him onto the bed and yanked his shirt off. I quickly removed my boots, but when I turned my attention back to the Moyashi, he did not look good.

His earlier blush was gone; instead he was so pale that he looked sick. He was lying on the bed with his arms wrapped around his stomach, and he was pointedly looking away from me. I gently sat beside him, and he flinched when I ran my fingers through his hair. "What's wrong, Allen?"

I didn't have to ask, I knew what was bothering him. We'd had many sexual encounters over the last few months, and he always got like that whenever his shirt was removed. He was self-conscious of his stretch marks.

To my surprise, he actually answered my question, though his voice was so quiet that it almost didn't count. "I forgot that I have to be naked for this."

I reached over and gently pulled his arms away from his belly. He whimpered, but he didn't fight me. Moving so that I was straddling his hips, I began tracing the faint lines with my fingertips. This time the Moyashi squeaked and tried to squirm away. I had him trapped so he didn't get very far. I sighed at his reaction and stopped moving my fingers, taking a moment to take in the rare sight of a bare-chested Allen. He was gorgeous; after six months he'd lost all the baby weight and was back to his usual slightly too skinny self. The barely visible stretch marks that snaked across his belly were the only indication that he had actually been pregnant. "Allen. I know you're self-conscious, but you don't need to be. I think you're beautiful."

He scowled accusingly at me. "You're just saying that because I told you we could have sex. You can't actually be attracted to me like this."

I matched his scowl. His words really bothered me. "How many times have we been over this, Moyashi? You know that I love you. You know that I'm attracted to you. You know that I'm in this relationship for the long haul." I was clearly getting nowhere, so I switched tactics. "Besides, I thought you said you're ready for sex. Do you really want me to stop?"

Allen's silver eyes were huge as he stared at me in shock. "No! Of course not!"

I raised an eyebrow at him as I slowly leaned down and kissed one of the stretch marks. He tensed under my touch, but didn't squirm away. Instead, he vocalized his displeasure. "Yuuu! Knock it off!"

I wanted to continue teasing him, but I knew that I had already pushed him far enough on the stretch marks, so I moved on to something else. Sitting up, I pulled my shirt off over my head. The Moyashi's reaction was immediate. His body relaxed and the uncomfortable expression on his face morphed into one of awe. He was almost drooling at the sight of my bare chest. _Note to self: taking off my shirt shuts the Moyashi up._

Seeing me shirtless made Allen spring into action. He quickly sat up and threw his mismatched arms around my neck. I raised an eyebrow at the reaction, but didn't get the chance to question it as the Moyashi was firmly pressing our lips together. I gave into the kiss, pulling him down onto the bed with me. We stayed like that for a while, just lying together and making out. I wanted to go further, but I knew that this was something he was comfortable with, so I chose to wait until he had relaxed a little more.

When he pulled away for air, I took the opportunity to move things forward. I left a trail of kisses along his creamy neck, stopping when I reached his collarbone. Allen let out some beautiful moans and gasps as I sucked and nipped at his flesh, marking him as mine for the first time. Satisfied with the hickey, I moved on to another spot.

The Moyashi finally moved after the fourth hickey, though it wasn't to make me stop; he ran his fingers through my hair until he found the hair tie at the bottom of my braid. He struggled to untie it for a moment before he got impatient and just yanked it out. He showed a lot more care with unwinding the braid, certainly more than I ever did, gently unweaving the strands so that my hair fell loose around us without any tangles in it.

I had reached his navel by then, and to my surprise, when Allen had finished with hair, his hands moved straight to the waistband of my pants. Taking that as a sign that he was ready for the next step, I stopped what I was doing in favor of removing his pants.

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

A/N #2: We're nearing the end, but we're not quite there yet. I tweaked the epilogue the other day and ended up writing two more chapters. So, instead of this being the second-to-last full chapter, there are actually three more coming after it. ;)


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: As always, thanks for the reviews. I appreciate the support. :)

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

It took longer than I would have liked to get my breathing under control. The haze of pleasure that I was stuck in made it difficult to do anything. Not that I wanted to move. I felt so good that I could have easily just passed out and slept for days. However, Yuu had recovered a lot faster than I had, and he was already off the bed.

I watched with lidded eyes as he disappeared into the bathroom, still too out of it to figure out what he was doing. The sound of water running made it pretty clear that he was cleaning himself up though.

When he returned to the bedroom, I was glad I had stayed awake. My boyfriend was gorgeous, and seeing him walk around naked like that was a wonderful sight. I would never tell him that though, or he would start doing it all the time just to get under my skin.

This wasn't the first time I had watched him walk around naked after sex. My memories of that morning may have been blurred by the massive hangover, but I unmistakably remembered finding him attractive and thinking that he would have been so much more beautiful if he would just smile.

He was smiling now. It was only a small smile of contentment, the one that had become his usual facial expression over the last six months of living with Addie and me, but it got bigger as he sat down on the bed and leaned over me. "Oh, so you _are_ awake in there. I thought you had passed out."

I laughed lightly. "I certainly wanted to."

Yuu kissed me briefly. Then he was placing a damp washcloth on my stomach. I shrieked lightly at the unexpected feeling, and that just made him smirk. "What are you doing, Bakanda?"

"Cleaning you up." It was an obvious answer now that he was wiping the drying semen off my middle. "Though if I had known you were awake beforehand, I would have suggested showering together."

The smirk on his face made me punch him in the shoulder. "I can't believe how much of a pervert you turned out to be."

Yuu gave me a weird look as he unceremoniously tossed the washcloth into the bathroom. "You say that like you didn't enjoy it. Was the sex not good for you?"

I didn't know how to answer the question without admitting to things I that didn't want to admit, so I turned it around on him. "Was it good for you? You actually remember our first time. For all I know, I was better drunk."

Yuu moved so that he was kneeling over me, his loose navy hair blocking out everything around us. He stared down at me for a moment before he spoke. "The only comparison that matters is that you were sober and you wanted me to do that to you. For those first few months after I remembered our initial encounter, I was worried that you would only want me if you were drunk. This time was a million times better for me simply because it was completely consensual. So stop trying to change the subject. The way you're acting makes it seem like you didn't enjoy it but don't want to say so because you don't want to hurt my feelings."

The way he phrased it made me feel bad. I hadn't meant for my insecurities to upset him. "No, I enjoyed it."

There was some relief on Yuu's face at hearing that I liked the sex, but mostly he just looked confused. He raised an eyebrow at me. "Then what's on your mind, Moyashi?"

I stared at him for a moment, trying to decide if he really wanted to know or if he was just making small talk. His expression never changed, and that made me blush so hard that I had to look away. The silence was starting to get to me, so I caved and let my thoughts out. "The sex was good, way better than I ever imagined it being. Why was I so scared of it?"

I expected him to tease me over my admission, but instead Yuu leaned down and kissed me.

"It's probably because we used to be so violent towards each other. You weren't scared of the sex, you were scared of me."

Before I could argue with that, which I really wanted to do, I realized he was right. I was scared of the sex because I was worried that he would hurt me. It was especially hard to deny when I recalled how I had freaked out over him seeing my stretch marks.

I opened my mouth to concede, but before I got a single word out, Yuu was kissing me again. When he let me go, he pressed his forehead against mine and stared seriously into my eyes. "You should have figured out by now that I _always_ take care of my things. And you are _mine_. I would never hurt you, Allen."

I raised an eyebrow at him in confusion. "I have a scar through my stomach that contradicts that sentiment."

The comment earned me a flicked ear. If the look in his eyes was anything to go by, Yuu was upset with me. "Che. Were you even listening, Moyashi? That was back before you became mine, so it's no longer relevant."

Though it was meant to calm me down, that only pissed me off. I was not an object. "Oh? And when, exactly, did I 'become yours'?"

Yuu rolled off me and lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He was clearly thinking hard about how to answer my question without setting me off. "Tonight, now that we've had sex? Six months ago, when you agreed to go out with me after giving birth to my baby? Eight months before that, when you decided not to abort my baby? The month before that, when you conceived my baby? Take your pick."

"That's not what I meant, Yuu." I pushed myself up on my elbow so that I could look at him. It was a mistake; I had a little too much trouble keeping my eyes from drifting down his perfectly toned body. "This is clearly about you thinking that I belong to you, _so_ , when did _that_ happen? When did you start thinking of me as your possession?"

I was startled by the sincere answer he gave me. "That would have been around the time that I realized that I had fallen in love with you. So, roughly eight months ago."

"You realize that I'm not an object, right?"

The words just made Yuu laugh. "Nice try, Moyashi, but it won't work. You are mine until the day you die, and there's nothing you can do about it. And before you try to argue with me, you should know that it's only going to end with you underneath me again. So unless you're ready for another round, I suggest dropping it and going to sleep."

.x.x.

The next month was full of change. Sex with Yuu became part of my routine, but in contrast to the previous six months, if he wanted sex, we had sex. I'm not complaining, I enjoyed the sex and Yuu continued to treat me like royalty, but it was definitely weird having him go from patient and understanding to domineering.

I don't know why it surprised me, but Yuu proposed exactly when he said he would: six months, to the minute, from his previous proposal.

We were out on a mission at the time, which was probably why it was so unexpected. As we walked through the streets, he pulled me away from our comrades and into an alley, where he just stared at me expectantly. After a moment of silence, I raised an eyebrow at him. "What's going on, Bakanda?"

"It's been six months." He said it as if it was the only information I needed.

I blinked at him. "Since what?"

"Che. Baka Moyashi." He tousled my hair, like he always did when my cluelessness amused him. "You said I had to wait six months before I could propose again. So?"

I frowned at him. It was just like Yuu to expect me to accept his proposal without him asking properly. "Is this you proposing? It's rather pathetic."

He stared at me for a moment before his scowl faltered. "Is that a no?"

I snorted. "No. It's me telling you to do it right. I can't answer a question you haven't asked yet."

"Oh. Right." Yuu immediately began digging through his jacket pockets. Finding what he was looking for, he pulled out a small black box and offered it to me. "Will you marry me, Allen?"

Curious, I took the box from him. Inside was a plain silver band. I blinked up at him, nearly stunned speechless. "You actually bought a ring?"

"I did." He raised an eyebrow at me, silently reminding me that I still hadn't answered his question.

I hesitated. I had completely forgotten that Yuu wanted us to get married, and I didn't know what to say to him. I loved him dearly, but I was unsure whether or not I was ready for this. Marriage was a big step.

I was pulled from my thoughts when Yuu flicked my forehead. "Stop thinking so hard, Moyashi. Just say yes."

That made me laugh, but only for a moment. "Yuu, it's not that simple. I-"

He flicked my forehead again. "Yes, it is that simple. All of my arguments from six months ago are still true, and all of yours are no longer relevant. There are no more pregnancy hormones in your system, we've had sex, and we have been dating for seven months. So stop giving me a hard time."

I pouted playfully at him. "But it's fun."

"Che. Baka." I expected him to flick my forehead again, but instead he pulled me into a kiss. He broke the kiss after only a couple seconds, but he stayed so close that our noses were touching. "Unless you've changed your mind about wanting to get married, it should not be taking you this long to accept my proposal. What's going through that head of yours, Allen?"

I wanted to look away, but couldn't; there was just something in his gaze that made the truth pop out. "I'm scared, Yuu."

Yuu's reaction was not what I expected it to be. "What? And I'm not? This is a big step for both of us, Moyashi. The idea of vowing to be with someone for the rest of my life is somewhat terrifying. I just know that I love you, and that makes me want to do this with you."

I didn't know what to say to that. Instead, I just watched in tongue-tied silence as Yuu took the ring box out of my numb hands. He shoved the box back into his pocket, but not before pulling the ring out. Without saying a word, he took my left hand in his and slid the ring onto my finger.

The feeling of the cold metal against my skin snapped me out of my stupor. "Yuuuuu! I didn't say 'yes'!"

My protest was cut short by a passionate kiss, and I was gasping for breath by the time he let go. He leaned close and whispered in my ear. "You didn't say 'no' either."

The huskiness in his voice made me swallow hard. Add in the closeness of our bodies and the tense atmosphere, and something else became hard. I blushed deeply as I felt my erection grow, trying to back away from Yuu before he noticed.

I didn't succeed. Before I could react, I was sandwiched between the brick alley wall and Yuu's strong chest. He laughed lightly in my ear as he pressed the top of his thigh against my crotch, the contact making me struggle to hold in a moan. "Ah, there's my answer. You can't lie if your body gives you away."

"Wanting sex and wanting to get engaged are two _very_ different things, Yuu." My words were not as strong as I would have liked; my mind was growing fuzzy as more of my blood flowed south.

"Then give me back the ring." There was a challenge in his voice that set me on edge. And before I could even begin to decide if I wanted to take off the ring, Yuu was rubbing his knee against my erection.

I bit back a moan at the feeling. I knew what he was after now, and I knew how this was going to play out. If I could take off the ring before he pushed me over the edge, then he would back off, but if I failed then he would get his way and we would be engaged. It was a weird game, but it was essentially the same as how he got me to admit that I'd fallen for him. It was how we did things.

There were several problems with that arrangement though. Not the least of which was that I knew I was going to lose. Yuu had too much power over my body. If he wanted me to climax, I would. And there was nothing I could do about it.

While I was lost in thought, my wrists were forcefully pinned above my head. I protested, but Yuu captured my mouth in a deep kiss, silencing me before I could get a word out. I tried to struggle out of his grasp, but all that did was create more friction on my groin.

I moaned into the kiss at the feeling, and to my surprise, Yuu released his hold on my wrists. The relief was short lived though, as mere seconds later, my pants were around my ankles. We both froze, but Yuu acted first, and before I realized that I had missed my chance to win his game, my length was in his mouth.

Yuu's strong hands kept my hips pinned in place, and the moist heat surrounding my shaft quickly became too much. Overwhelmed by pleasure, I gave up on fighting back. I couldn't stop the lewd noises coming out of my mouth, and my fingernails began to chip as I clawed against the brick wall.

It was all over less than a minute later. I came with a choked groan, collapsing to the ground as I couldn't support myself on my shaky legs.

Yuu smirked at me as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. I did my best to glare at him, but I was breathing too heavily for it to be effective. "That wasn't fair! You know I can't fight back against that!"

"That was the _point_ , Allen." I blinked at his words, barely managing to pull my pants up. Yuu batted my hands away and fastened them himself. "You just let me have my way with you in a public place. And you didn't put any thought into it beforehand. Yet you put up a huge fight over _getting engaged_. Your reactions were backwards."

He wound his fingers into my hair and held my head firmly in place. "Now, I'm going to ask again, and this time you're going to respond the right way, ok?"

I nodded as best as I could with the way he was holding me. He stared deep into my eyes before he spoke again. "Will you marry me, Allen?"


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: You guys make me laugh. I love how into this you're getting. :)

.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.

 _"Will you marry me, Allen?"_

Once again, fear hit me hard at hearing those words. However, I did not want to find out what Yuu would do if I hesitated a second time, so I did what he asked, and just reacted to the question. "Yes."

He kissed the top of my head. "Good Moyashi."

I scowled at his tone, because it was like he was talking to a dog, but he ignored my expression and pulled me tightly against his chest. "See? Getting engaged was not that bad. Right?"

The hand that was still in my hair tugged on the strands and forced me to nod. I didn't feel like agreeing with him, but he was clearly ignoring my protests at this point. "And it's not like we're going to rush out and get married, Lenalee is going to want at least a year to plan the wedding. We'll have plenty of time to adjust to the idea of being married before we actually have to go through with it."

His words pissed me off. I grit my teeth and punched him in the stomach. "Why the hell didn't you lead with that, Bakanda?! I was thinking that you wanted to get married right away! If I had known that you were planning on waiting that long, I would have said yes right off the bat!"

He let out a deep groan, letting go of me in favor of leaning back against the brick beside me. He slid down the wall and stared up at the sky. The expression on his face made it clear that he was kicking himself internally. "Dammit. I should have known that."

"Yes, you should have." I punched him again, this time in the shoulder. I was a lot less pissed at him now that I wasn't the only one who had done something stupid.

I sat down beside him and leaned against him with my head on his shoulder. Not knowing what else to say, I let the subject drop and turned my focus on my left hand and the silver band he had put on my ring finger. I watched it sparkle in the light as its meaning settled heavily on me. I was engaged. To Kanda Yuu. I suddenly understood why everyone freaked out when they first learned of our relationship. It actually was hard to believe that he and I were together. On the other hand, in the last seven months Yuu had gone from someone I couldn't stand to someone I couldn't live without. I was engaged to my daughter's father, and there was something poetic about that.

"Do you like the ring?"

The question snapped me from my thoughts, and when I refocused on my surroundings, Yuu had my left hand in his and he was absently twisting the band on my finger. I looked sideways at him. "That's a weird question. Why do you ask?"

He sighed. "I went with silver because I thought it would look better on you, but Lenalee seemed pretty convinced that you'd want a gold one because it's more traditional. And now that I've given it to you, I can't help but wonder if she was right."

I laughed lightly at how distressed he sounded. "Honestly? I don't think I care what it looks like. I didn't think you'd be the type to get me a ring, so this one's perfect because it's the one you picked."

"That's sappy, Moyashi."

"Says the man who insists on brushing my hair every night before bed."

The comment earned me an elbow to the ribs, but it was immediately followed by a deep kiss that took my breath away. Yuu was my soulmate, and though I had my doubts over our future, I didn't regret agreeing to marry him. We were going to be perfect together, I had never been more certain of anything else in my entire life.

.x.x.

The time between our engagement and our wedding passed quickly. Things between the Moyashi and I hardly changed after my disastrous proposal. Though the incident was embarrassing, "it's just who we are", to use the Moyashi's words. It resulted in some annoying teasing from our friends, who all insisted that even though we weren't married on paper, there was no need for us to get engaged because we were already a married couple. Marie pointed out to me that it was annoying because it was true, and while that scared me a little, I definitely liked knowing that everyone else knew that Allen was mine.

Addie grew from a mostly helpless seven month old into an obnoxiously independent toddler. It all happened way too fast, and I both loved and hated watching my baby girl grow up. Once she learned how to walk and talk, she wanted to do everything for herself. Her clothes were always on backwards, inside out, or with missed buttons, and her auburn hair was in a constant state of disarray. She was incredibly stubborn, which wasn't all that surprising given that Allen and I were her parents, but she had strongly inherited Allen's sweet side as well. If we wanted her to do something, all we had to do was phrase it like we were asking for her help and she would do it in a heartbeat. Her favorite words were 'no' and 'please' - along with 'Mommy', 'Chichi' (which, while it wasn't my ideal word, was at least Japanese), and 'Manda', as Miranda was her favorite babysitter.

Addie's love of the German woman had inspired us to name Miranda and Marie as Addie's godparents. From the moment Allen and I brought her to headquarters, Central had insisted that Addie be properly baptized before her first birthday. We fought them at first because neither of us cared about the Catholic faith, but after Lenalee pointed out that baptism is when a baby's godparents are named, we decided to go along with it and make the ceremony more about the naming of godparents than the baptism. Lenalee was initially upset that we had skipped over her for Miranda, but she dropped it when Allen reminded her that Marie was as much my brother as she was my sister.

Teidoll made good on his unspoken threat to spoil Addie and brought her gifts from his travels every time he returned to headquarters, which was a lot more often than it was before she came along. The nursery ended up covered in sketches and paintings of the places he had been. He tried many times to get Addie to call him some variation of 'grandfather', but always failed miserably. I thought it was amusing up until she settled on calling him 'old man'. Teidoll found it absolutely adorable that she mimicked me like that, and it was no longer funny.

Lenalee annoyed us with wedding plans for months, constantly asking about flowers and colors and the like. Neither the Moyashi nor I cared about any of those things, but our suggestion that she just do what she thought would be best was met with resistance. According to her, it was our wedding, so we had to choose. Allen didn't take that particularly well. "Look, Lena, I may have had a baby, but I'm still a man. I know nothing about those kinds of things. As long as you don't try to put me in a dress, I honestly don't care either way about any of the other things. The things you'll pick will be better than the things we would pick because you _do_ care. And you know us better than anyone else does, we trust you to make the right choices."

I laughed at his unsuccessful attempt to reason with her and tried a different tactic. "You really should just give up, Lenalee. Even if you make us choose, we're just going to disagree."

Allen raised an eyebrow at me. "Really, Yuu? You think we wouldn't be able to agree on anything?"

"Well, given that you've said that your only condition is that you don't want to wear a dress, and I want you to wear one, yes." The words earned me a punched shoulder, but I ignored it and the childish scowl Allen was giving me. "Actually, I'm surprised that you're so against that. I saw you in dresses quite a lot in our first month together."

The Moyashi turned bright red and punched me again. This time I knew he was pissed because it hurt. "Bakanda! Pretending to be a woman because I'd had a baby and wearing a dress at my wedding are two _very_ different things."

He had more to say, but he cut off abruptly when Lenalee started laughing. "Ok, I get it. I thought things would be different now that you're engaged, but that's clearly not the case. Out of curiosity though, is there anything you _do_ agree on?"

I shared a look with Allen, but before we could figure out how to respond to the question, we were interrupted by a loud screeching as Addie ran into the room. The little ball of energy promptly threw herself onto my lap and grinned up at me. "Chichi!"

I tickled her and made her laugh more while glaring up at Lavi who was now standing in the doorway. This was why we didn't let the redhead babysit. He got Addie all riled up on sugar and then couldn't control her afterwards. Lavi blanched at the look I gave him and immediately turned and ran away. I couldn't stay focused on him for too long though as the giggling girl crawled out of my lap and began tugging on my wrist. "Chichi! Come."

Playing along with whatever the hyperactive toddler was up to was infinitely preferable to staying for more of Lenalee's wedding planning, so I stood from the couch and allowed Addie to lead me out of the room. "Alright, Addie, I'm coming."

As our daughter led me away, I saw Allen smile at Lenalee out of the corner of my eye. He leaned closer to her, and I almost missed his whispered answer to her question. "Actually, we've never once disagreed on how to raise Addie."

.x.x.

Lenalee stopped bothering us with wedding questions after that day. Or rather, she stopped bothering _me_ with questions. For all I knew, she was still pestering Allen with them when the two were alone together, but he didn't complain about it, so I had no way of knowing. Without that annoyance, missions and my family kept me busy, and before I knew it, it was September, and our wedding was only a few days away.

Headquarters was a flurry of activity as Lenalee had everyone helping with the cleaning and decorating. Everyone except me anyway. Aside from a fitting to make sure that my tux would fit, I did absolutely nothing. It wasn't that I didn't want to help, which was true, but Lenalee and Allen wouldn't hear of it. Apparently, my jobs were to not complain about what they were doing and keep Addie out of the way.

I certainly did not object to being left alone with my twenty one month old daughter. I loved spending time with Addie, and having her completely to myself for those couple days made putting up with all the wedding chaos a lot easier. Yes, marrying Allen was all my idea, but I could have done without the whole big wedding fiasco; I would have been just as happy with signing the paperwork and skipping the ceremony. This is what made everyone else happy though, mainly Lenalee who had been begging to plan the wedding since she learned about my first proposal to Allen, and I knew the Moyashi wanted a ceremony, so I went along with it.

On the other hand, if we hadn't had the ceremony then I wouldn't have gotten to see Allen in a wedding dress. Apparently, even though he knew I wasn't completely serious, after learning that I wanted him to wear one, the Moyashi allowed Lenalee to change his mind about the whole thing. He decided that cross-dressing would be worth it just to see the look on my face when he walked down the aisle in traditional bride's clothes.

Allen looked drop dead gorgeous in the floor length white satin gown. It wasn't frilly, flowery, or sparkly, or anything else that would have made it too girly, it was just a simple, classic satin. The dress was styled in such a way that it left his entire left arm and shoulder exposed, and the black of his Innocence contrasted perfectly with the full length sleeve that covered his right arm. The skirt was puffed out just enough to allow him free range of movement without being too flouncy. He even wore a veil in his snow white hair, which was pinned up with pearl barrettes that matched the choker and bracelets he was wearing.

He looked so breathtaking that I barely noticed anything else during the ceremony and reception. It was a good thing that all I had to do was repeat after the minister, I was so distracted by Allen that I would have forgotten my vows if we had written them. I might not have even noticed Addie if she hadn't gotten stage fright during her duties as flower girl and latched herself onto my leg. Her dress was nearly identical to Allen's, though hers had a shorter skirt and was in a pale lavender. She even wore pearls like those that he wore, though hers were woven into her complexly braided auburn hair. She looked absolutely adorable, and I suddenly completely understood Komui's sister-complex; no potential suitor was ever getting within ten feet of my precious little girl.

.x.x.

While wearing a dress was not how I originally imagined my wedding happening, the look on Yuu's face when he saw me like that made it completely worth it. He actually broke his usual stoic expression to smile in front of everyone. And the way he couldn't keep his eyes off me was truly flattering. Unsurprisingly, when we kissed at the end of the ceremony, he had trouble letting go of me.

The dress was far from the only surprise I had for him that day. When I was announced at the reception as Allen Walker-Kanda, he almost had a heart attack. It blew his mind that I had decided to take his last name. Granted it was hyphenated, but he didn't care; that possessive streak of his liked that I was his in name too.

Yuu was marked as mine too. He finally had a ring, and I don't think I would ever get tired of seeing it on his finger. The best part was that his wedding band was made with turquoise, which was Addie's and my birthstone, so he would be doubly reminded of his family when he looked at it. It was Lenalee's idea, which was also why Addie and I had ended up wearing pearls at the wedding, as that was Yuu's birthstone, but while I thought the pearls were taking it too far, the ring idea was romantic.

Our wedding night was everything I wanted it to be. The others looked after Addie so that Yuu and I could have the night to ourselves. I knew from the way Yuu had been looking at me all day that he was growing impatient to have me alone, so it was unsurprising that he had me pinned to the wall the second it finally happened. "If you're wearing something you don't want ripped or broken, you better take it off right now."


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Well, here it is: the last chapter before the epilogue. Enjoy!

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A couple weeks after my wedding to Yuu, I was woken early in the morning by an overpowering wave of nausea. I was away on a mission at the time and it really freaked me out. I couldn't be sick right now; there were too many things to do. I couldn't shirk my exorcist duties just because I had a stomach bug.

I felt better once I'd emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet, and the nausea didn't bother me for the rest of the day, so I figured it was something I had eaten. With the way I ate, it was entirely possible that I had unknowingly devoured something I shouldn't have.

However, when the next morning came, I was once again kneeling in front of the toilet puking my guts out. Only this time I recognized the weird feeling that settled in my stomach afterwards. I had missed it the day before because it had been a few years since I last felt that way.

I wasn't sick, and I _definitely_ hadn't eaten anything bad. I was pregnant.

The realization hit me at the same time as Lavi knocked at the bathroom door, preventing me from processing the information. "Are you alright in there, Bean Sprout?"

When I didn't answer right away, he came in. I couldn't see him, but I knew exactly what expression was on his face from the sharp intake of breath he let out. He was worried over finding me in front of the toilet like that, and I could only guess that I looked as horrible as I felt. "Alright, spill. What's wrong?"

I couldn't bring myself to answer him, so he continued to talk. "You may as well tell me. That husband of yours is going to hold me responsible for whatever it is that's happened to you, and I'd like to know what that is before he hurts me for letting it happen."

That almost made me laugh; Yuu had definitely become even more protective of me now that we were married. But I wasn't in a laughing mood. "Yuu would hurt you just for walking in on me in the bathroom."

I frowned as I bit back the urge to throw up again. "But I see your point, so I'll let you off the hook. I'm not injured and I'm not sick. There's no reason for him to blame you for what's going on with me."

"That's not going to stop him." Lavi moved from the doorway to sit beside me on the floor. He tousled my hair in the process; treating me like I was a child was part of his older brother routine, it was meant to convince me that I could trust him. "And I don't believe that you're not sick. You've spent the last two mornings vomiting. You definitely have some sort of illness."

Irritated with both his attempts to get me to talk and myself for getting pregnant again, I pushed myself off the floor and stalked back into our room. "I'm not sick. I'm pregnant. There's quite a difference."

"Al-len!" Lavi groaned my name as he followed me out of the bathroom. "You shouldn't be on a mission if you're pregnant!"

I clicked my tongue and rolled my eyes at him. "I know that. My morning sickness didn't start until _after_ we got here."

I expected Lavi to argue with me, but he just stood there staring at me. It made me more irritated than I already was. "What?!"

He blinked and shook his head at the confrontation. "Nothing. You just sounded a lot like Kanda right then. That's all."

"So? I've been a Kanda for three weeks. What's your point?"

"I still can't believe that you actually took his last name." The whispered words were said without offense, but they still hurt. Lavi brushed past it though and kept talking. "And now you're carrying his child. ... Again."

He sighed, grabbing my wrist and dragging me out of the room. I fought back. "What are you doing?"

The look he shot me made me cringe and stop trying to escape. "I'm calling Komui so that we can get you home. You can't stay here if you're pregnant."

"But I'm only a couple weeks along at most, and it hasn't even been confirmed yet. I can finish this mission!" Great. Now I sounded like a whiny child.

The redhead fixed me with a serious stare that sent chills down my spine. "I can't allow that. If you miscarry because I let you stay, Kanda _will_ kill me. You're going home."

Unfortunately, Lavi had a point. I couldn't risk miscarrying my child, so I went home without a fight. Komui met me at the gate and took me down to the infirmary. Half an hour later, my pregnancy was confirmed and I was officially benched. It was going to be at least a year before I could go on missions again.

Fortunately, Yuu wasn't home, so I had time to gather my thoughts before I would have to tell him that I was pregnant with his second child. There was really only one thought in my head though: _I don't want this_.

I had reached a decision about my pregnancy, but that didn't help with my emotional distress. What would Yuu think when I told him? Would he accept my decision or would he hate me for it and push me away? Was this possibly the end of us?

Addie was quite supportive while I was experiencing my emotional turmoil. I didn't even have to tell her that I wasn't in the mood to play with her; she somehow knew that I was upset all on her own. She brought me her favorite stuffed animal - I have no clue how she even had a favorite; she had more than fifty to choose from, and that was only counting the ones that Teidoll had given to her - and curled up on the bed beside me.

We lay together in silence for a while before she looked up at me with her big silver eyes and told me in her broken toddler speech that it was ok to cry.

I completely broke down at hearing that. My baby girl was perfect. And that's when I knew what I had to do. The new baby inside me would be just as perfect as its sister. Even though I didn't want to be pregnant, I had to do it. Just like I had done for Addie, I had to bring this new baby into the world.

I couldn't go through with my decision to abort my baby.

Komui had told me that I had to wait until I talked to my husband before he would perform the procedure. There was a weird look on his face at the time that I didn't understand, but I did now: he had known that I would end up going back on my decision.

I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I was aware of was Yuu, back from his mission and sitting on the bed next to me. He was watching me sleep as he braided his long navy hair; Addie curled up in his lap. He smiled mischievously at me as I blinked the sleep out of my eyes. "Good morning, Moyashi. Did you have a nice nap?"

Rolling over onto my back, I stretched my limbs. I knew better than to fake a smile, he would see right through that, so instead I tried to brush it off and change the subject. "It felt good to catch up on some lost sleep. How was your mission?"

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Nice try, but Addie told me that you spent all day crying. What happened?"

Ignoring his question, I glared down at our daughter. I was upset, but she smiled back at me, instantly winning me over with how precious she was. "You tattled on Mommy? Why would you do that, Addie?"

She responded with a giggle. Then Yuu's hand was on my chin, forcing me to look back at him. He scowled at my attempt to change the subject. "Tell. Me. What. Happened. Allen."

I sighed heavily. "My mission didn't go well, that's all."

"So the akuma got away, huh?" Yuu laughed at my expense, but I was just relieved that he wasn't pressing the issue. Despite having spent all day thinking about it, I was still not ready to tell him I was pregnant.

.x.x.

Ever since he had returned early from his last mission, the Moyashi had been acting weird. It was almost like he was mad at me. I knew I was just a scapegoat, he was taking his frustrations with his failed mission out on me, but as the days passed, I began to wonder if that was truly the case. He seemed to be avoiding me. It was weird behavior for my husband of three weeks; when Allen was mad at me, he wouldn't shut up about it. Moping and the silent treatment were definitely not his style.

I finally got the chance to confront him in the bathroom one morning, but it was interrupted by him kneeling over the toilet and throwing up. Worried, I brushed his hair back and tied it into a low ponytail so that it would be out of his face. The sudden vomiting freaked me out. The Moyashi sounded really sick.

He glared death at me when the throwing up passed, but I ignored it. "Are you ok, Allen?"

I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, but it was immediately smacked away. The Moyashi's voice was filled with danger when he spoke. "Don't touch me."

It confused me how upset he was. "I'm just trying to help."

My hand was once again pushed away. "Oh, you've done quite enough, thank you very much."

The Moyashi's glare immediately faded as he turned back to the toilet and began to vomit again. I knelt beside him and rubbed soothing circles on his back while I waited for him to finish. With that sarcastic comment, everything finally made sense, though the possibility that _that_ was happening again scared me a little. Pregnancy would certainly explain the Moyashi's behavior over the past few days though.

When he was done throwing up, he feebly tried to push me away. His hand on my chest barely made me budge. "Go away."

I couldn't do that. He was clearly miserable, and after almost two years together, I felt the need to comfort him. I also needed to know if he really was carrying another child. I pulled Allen into my arms and he immediately tried to squirm away. I brushed my fingers into his hair in an attempt to soothe him. "Allen... Are you pregnant?"

He didn't respond, instead he leaned over the toilet and puked once more. It was the only answer I needed. His vomiting was definitely morning sickness.

Allen stared up at the ceiling as he sat back on his heels, the expression on his face clearly said that he was trying to keep his anger in check. The tears that fell did not escape my notice. "I found out the other day. That's why I came home from that mission early."

It bothered me that he had known for that long without saying anything. We were married now; he was supposed to come to me with stuff like this. "And is there a reason you hadn't told me yet?"

The Moyashi got up and went to rinse his mouth out at the sink. "Because I haven't decided yet if I'm keeping it."

I was stunned speechless. I had known that Allen's first pregnancy was hard on him and that he didn't want to ever have another child, but I didn't think it was so bad that he would actually consider an abortion. It didn't mesh with what I knew about him; he carried Addie to term and she was conceived during drunk sex back when we hated each other, he should want the child he conceived legitimately.

"Please say something, Yuu."

The words snapped me from my thoughts. The Moyashi was watching me with fear in his eyes. I said the only thing I could think of. "What do you mean when you say that you haven't decided yet?"

Allen sighed and leaned back against the wall with his eyes closed. "Every time I decide that I'm going to abort the baby, Addie does something adorable that convinces me that I can't go through with that. Then I recall how awful my first pregnancy was, and I'm reminded of how much I don't want to do this again, and I talk myself back into having an abortion. It's a vicious cycle."

He slowly opened his left eye and stared levelly at me. "I was waiting to tell you until I had settled on one or the other. I wanted to either be telling you that we were having another child, or that I was getting rid of it, and I wanted to be confident in my decision so that you wouldn't be able to change my mind. And to be honest, I'm more than a little pissed at you. What the hell happened to your promise to never touch me without protection?"

The accusation hurt, but it didn't make me angry. Allen was obviously emotionally messed up and not thinking clearly. Which was why I chose to stay sitting on the floor rather than get up and embrace him. "First of all, I never actually promised that, and second, I have always used a condom when we've slept together. You know that; you would have noticed if I hadn't: it would have felt different."

He frowned at me. The Moyashi didn't like it when I pointed out things that he should have known. "Fine. I'm obviously going to end up doing whatever it is you want me to do, so let's just get this over with. Do you want me to keep the baby or not?"

I frowned at his word choice. "I want you to do whatever will make you happiest. I will support you no matter what you decide. If you decide to keep the baby, I'll be there to help you, and if you decide to have an abortion, I'll be there to comfort you afterwards. But it has to be your decision. I'm not going to make it for you."

He stared at me in silence for a moment before his expression turned into a suspicious glare. "What do you mean 'comfort me afterwards'? Are you implying that I wouldn't be able to handle having an abortion?"

I rose to my feet and walked over to him, stopping just inches in front of his face. "Moyashi. You know as well as I do that you view abortion as murder. It's why you had Addie. Even though she was an accident, you couldn't bear the thought of killing her. If you decide that you can't do the same with this baby and abort it, there's going to be a lot of emotional crap for you to go through afterwards. At some point it will hit you that you killed it because you were being selfish, and that's going to cause you lots of pain."

Allen's glare never faltered and his voice was cold. "So you're telling me to keep the baby."

It really bothered me that he kept acting like he expected me to tell him what to do. I placed my forehead against his and stared into his silver eyes. "No. I'm saying that I think you will regret having an abortion. I want you to do what will make you happiest, and in my opinion, that is keeping the baby. You may be miserable for the next few months if you keep it, but you will hate yourself forever if you abort it. That's why you change your mind when you see Addie. Every time you see the baby you kept, you feel guilty for thinking about getting rid of this one."

The anger that was in his eyes faded the instant I said the word 'regret'. And by the time I was done speaking, Allen had collapsed to the ground and covered his mouth with his hands. He sat like that for a moment and then he looked up at me with tears in his eyes. "Oh god. What did I almost do?"

He wrapped his arms around his waist as he began to cry. "I'm so sorry, Baby."

I watched him mumble apologies to the baby for a moment before I sat beside him and pulled him into a hug. I repeatedly brushed my hand through his hair to soothe him while I waited for him to finish crying. The tears eventually faded to hiccups and he laid his head on my shoulder.

But then Allen suddenly pushed me away and gave me a look. "Wait. You still haven't told me whether or not you actually want the baby."

I sighed as I pulled him back into my arms. "The way I see it, it doesn't matter what I want. I would never expect you to abort the baby because I don't want it, or keep it because I do. However, because I know you won't drop it, I want the baby."

I shifted my hold on the Moyashi, and got to do something I never had the chance to do during his first pregnancy: place my hand on his belly. There was no bump yet, but it still felt amazing knowing that my child was in there. "This little one is going to be every bit as amazing as its sister and mother. I can't wait to meet it."


	14. Epilogue

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Here's the epilogue. Enjoy!

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~Epilogue~

When Allen and I had first announced our engagement, the prevailing theory among the finders was that Central was forcing us into it because we had a child together. That changed after our wedding, as everyone who attended the ceremony now knew that I was attracted to the Moyashi, but instead of realizing that we were in love, they went back to believing that I was somehow manipulating Allen into being with me. It wasn't until we told everyone that he was pregnant again that the rumors began to die. There would always be people who believed we were forced together, just like there would always be those who believed that we had Addie because I had raped Allen, but with a second child on the way, most everyone now realized that we were together because we wanted to be.

The Moyashi stayed at headquarters for his second pregnancy. It was our second child, and we were married now, so there was no need to hide this time around. I got to be there through it all, and though his mood swings made it hard, watching my husband carry my child was a wonderful experience. Allen was absolutely gorgeous pregnant, and I loved to tell him that because the way he blushed made him even more beautiful.

At just barely two years old, Addie was too young to really understand what was happening, but she was excited by the idea of a baby. The best part was that she had picked up some of my habits and would call Allen 'pretty' when she kissed his baby bump.

Our son Takumi was born on my twenty fourth birthday. That arbitrarily chosen date, which I had never really cared for, now had the most special of meanings. And in the years to come, I would grow to enjoy the joint celebration that Lenalee would organize for us every year.

Allen was not nearly as ecstatic as I was over our son's birth. With all his training and experience as a midwife, he had wanted to give birth naturally again. So when complications arose during his labor, and he was forced to give birth via c-section, he was not happy about it.

His mood was made even worse by the news that the complications had forced the doctors to remove parts of his womb. He would never be able to get pregnant again.

Despite his initial misgivings, Allen had thoroughly enjoyed his second pregnancy. It was an entirely different experience with me at his side and our friends there to support us. He realized that he had hated being pregnant so much the first time because he was doing all that work alone and for a baby he had had no hope of keeping; the simple fact that we were married this time around made a huge difference on his outlook. We had discussed the issue thoroughly and decided that we were going to try for another baby. Learning that that would never happen nearly crushed Allen.

But though those things upset him, it could have been a lot worse. He lost his ability to have more children, but if he hadn't, we might have lost him or Takumi. So instead of getting angry, Allen chose to move on.

And after two months of living with an infant and a toddler, we were both glad that it was no longer possible for him to get pregnant. There was no way we would have been able to handle three kids and our jobs as exorcists; we could barely handle two.

While Addie was a dead ringer for the female disguise that Allen had used while he was pregnant with her, Takumi could have been my twin. In every sense. Like his older sister, he inherited everything from the Second Exorcist Project. Hevlaska even identified him as a future equipment-type accommodator. Takumi was still Allen's kid though, and the Moyashi's cheerful personality showed through. Our son smiled more in a day than I did in a week.

Allen killed the Millennium Earl the summer after Takumi's second birthday. The news came as a shock to everyone but me and Jerry; the chef was the only person outside of our family who knew that Addie had learned to activate her Innocence. Faced with the looming reality of our four and a half year old daughter becoming an exorcist, when Allen was given the opportunity to take down the Earl, he took it. Ending the war was the best way for him to protect our children.

With the Earl dead, the Noah disappeared for good. There were, however, still akuma to destroy and Innocence fragments to find. And while it was still possible that I wouldn't return home to my husband and children, the chances of that happening were slim. I had survived the Noah. I was not going to die by an akuma.

Especially not while Allen was pregnant.

The Moyashi's third pregnancy shocked us all. His womb had been removed. It wasn't possible for him to get pregnant. Yet he was. The removed parts had grown back, and Allen was once again carrying my child. Once we got over the shock, it was fantastic news; neither of us had ever really let go of our desire to have another child.

Komui theorized that because Allen lost his womb against his will, and his Innocence was the reason why he had it in the first place, his Innocence had given him his womb back. Of course, there was a lot of disagreement over that, and everyone else had their own theories. Neither Allen nor I particularly cared why it happened, but we were inclined to agree with Komui. Given that Allen had conceived Addie on the night he lost his virginity, Takumi on our wedding night, and Aya on our first night together after the mission where he'd killed the Earl, it made sense that his Innocence was somehow involved.

With the war over, Allen's third pregnancy was even more enjoyable than his second was. He spent his days taking care of Takumi, which was really easy given that the boy was incredibly mellow compared to his older sister, who was already a fairly mellow child, and helping Addie learn how to use her Innocence. The guilt of staying at home while the rest of us went out to fight was gone, and he was able to completely relax for the first time in his life.

The Moyashi got his wish and gave birth naturally this time around, finally getting to freak out Lavi with the news that he was a fully certified midwife. Aya was perfect; she was the first of our children to actually look like both of us, with her features being a blend of Asian and Caucasian. Her black hair was tinted red, and her eyes were a beautiful shade of silver. We got the best possible news about a week after she was born: Aya was not Innocence compatible. Though she had inherited the same things from me that her siblings had, she was not going to have to go out and fight like they would.

Allen's first mission after Aya's birth was also Addie's first ever mission. Given that her Innocence fragment was located between her shoulder blades, no one was really surprised that Addie's activation took the form of butterfly wings. The now almost six year old girl was thrilled to have her own exorcist uniform, and she was even more excited to be going with Allen instead of being left behind. It broke my heart to see her that excited, I knew she was only going to be disappointed with what she saw out there. It was a completely justified sentiment as she latched on to me the second she got home and refused to leave my side for the next two days. She even slept in our bed, keeping us up with the frequent nightmares she suffered. It was hard to see her like that. I don't know what exactly Allen said to her to get her to finally calm down, but I imagine it had something to do with the story behind his curse. It worked wonders though, and while Addie never returned to her initial ecstatic state, she didn't fight any of the future missions she was assigned.

My relationship with Allen grew stronger as the years passed. Waking up beside him in the morning was every bit as wonderful after four years of marriage as it was the first time we had shared a bed back in Nice. I never stopped missing him when we were apart, and I continued to rush through missions when I knew he was waiting for me at home. He teased me for it, but we both knew that if it weren't for his ability to see the souls of akuma, he would be doing the exact same thing. We still fought, but these were new arguments, stemming from living together for so long; they were very different from the fights we had back when we thought we hated each other. Even with the fights, it was clear that I loved my Moyashi as much today as I did back when I first confessed to him.

We had three beautiful children together, and I loved every single one of them. If I had to pick a favorite, it would probably be Addie, simply because if it wasn't for her, I might not have had her mother. It really was a close contest though. Takumi was so much like me, yet he had seemingly only inherited my good qualities, and Aya was the perfect blend of me and Allen. They were just as important to me as their older sister. I may not have ever thought I would want kids, but every single one of my babies was precious, and I wouldn't have traded them for anything.

It was almost hard to believe that getting drunk and sleeping with Allen was what started it all. I had everything that I never knew I wanted out of life, and it was all because of what happened that night.

~Fin~


End file.
